Locker Page 530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jellyfish Are Assholes<em></em><em></em>
I just wanna swim in peace. That’s all I want. I want all the creatures of the sea to get along and coexist in harmony so that I might responsibly frolic in the earth’s panoply of crystalline bodies of water: lakes, oceans, streams, rivers, and such and such....
Secret Emails Show Kevin Johnson Spying On, Attempting To Bankrupt Enemies
The city clerk of Sacramento has released a trove of correspondence between Kevin Johnson and his cronies, over which the scandal-magnet lame-duck mayor of the California capital fought a long, dirty campaign in hopes of keeping it from journalists and legal adversaries. This latest document dump ha...
Report: LeBron James Signs Tyronn Lue To An Extension
According to The Vertical’s Adrian Wojnarowski, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers have signed Tyronn Lue to a five-year extension to serve as head coach....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Can't Forget
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. [Insert Kurt Vonnegut aphorism here.]...
Dion Waiters Handled His Free Agency Like He Handles Open Corner Threes
Dion Waiters had a very Dion Waiters season as a member of the Thunder in 2015-16. Which is to say he tossed bricks all over the court, carried himself like he was the best scorer on the team, and nearly altered the course of NBA history with one supremely boneheaded but effective forearm shiver. Ho...
You Should Wear Gloves While Working With Hot Peppers
You should wear gloves while working with hot peppers—even though that seems like an awfully generous concession to make to a piece of produce you’re about to obliterate with your mouth hole—because if you don’t, you may start to notice a tingling in your fingertips. Aw, crap, you might think, reali...
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Tennessee Titans<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tennessee Titans. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
Michael Jordan Donates $2 Million To Social Justice Organizations
In a note published on The Undefeated today, Michael Jordan spoke out against recent acts of violence against African-Americans and police officers, and revealed that he has made sizable donations to two organizations that work to combat police brutality and racial inequality....
Good Luck, Everybody
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Deadspin Up All Night: Rain Falls
Thank you, as always, for your continued support of Deadspin. Hope the weather’s better where you are. ...
Ken Griffey Jr. Ended His Hall Of Fame Speech The Best Way Possible
In case you’ve forgotten, Ken Griffey Jr.’s preference for wearing his cap backward infuriated old white columnists—and managers—of the day. So the manner in which The Kid ended his Hall of Fame acceptance speech today in Cooperstown was simply priceless....
They Put Doors On Bathrooms For A Reason, You Know
Fox Sports cameras afforded Rays infielder Steve Pearce no privacy during Tampa Bay’s typical loss tonight to the A’s. In Pearce’s defense, Rays players have struggled with that bathroom door in the past....
Kendra Harrison Breaks 100m Hurdles World Record
The 100 meter hurdles world record of 12.21 seconds stood for 28 years until being smashed yesterday in London by American runner Kendra Harrison—who didn’t learn until about a minute after the race that she’d broken one of track & field’s most impenetrable barriers....
Clinton Courts Crucial Boring Whites Demographic With Kaine VP Nom<em></em>
Sure, history says this is what was expected. The Democrats have given us Joe Biden, better known for his flubs than his actual oratory execution; Al Gore, whose “look at how hard I am acting like I am hot for my wife” kiss is impossible to forget; and Walter Mondale, whose face I cannot picture at ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Bless 'Em, It's Done
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Party party party party party party. ...
Here's The Song Of The Summer, And Also Every Single Other Day Of Life
Folks, it’s a sweaty summer Friday, and chances are you’re work-sick and ready to let loose. Please find some relief in the song of the summer....
Derrick Rose Makes Bold Claim
Point guard Derrick Rose caused some eyebrows to shoot off their foreheads in an interview Wednesday after he claimed that members of the public were calling the New York Knicks a superteam....
Dumbass Bear Gets Head Stuck In Empty Cheese Poof Container
Every bear knows that the greatest threat its dignity is a container of food big enough to fit over a hungry bear’s head. And so any bear that wants to avoid being labeled as a big idiot dumbass has to follow just one simple rule: don’t stick your big bear head in large food containers....
Surviving The Magical Hell That Is Disney World
“I feel bad.” ...