Locker Page 565 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Los Angeles Lakers Hire Luke Walton As Head Coach
The Los Angeles Lakers have hired former Lakers player and current top Golden State Warriors assistant Luke Walton as their next head coach, the team announced tonight....
Deadspin Up All Night: My Own Voice Begging Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a great weekend. ...
The Boston Celtics Will Soon Be Terrifyingly Good
The Boston Celtics lost to the Atlanta Hawks 104-92 last night, knocking them out of the first round of the playoffs. It’s the last time for the foreseeable future that the Celtics will exit the playoffs so early. ...
Warren G Performs Incredibly Bad Rendition Of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
Rapper Warren G earned a round of boos at Wrigley Field after a performance of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” that started with the wrong words of the song’s titular first line and got worse from there....
Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?
Last night’s first round of the NFL draft featured many large men embracing an extremely rich one. As we do every year, we’ve measured each draftee’s hug time and measured it against his fellow rookies. The winner? New Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal, who got intimate with Roger Goodell for more t...
What Is The Best Room For Holding An Orgy?
You may have heard that Tinder is testing out a new multi-person swipe function called Tinder Social that will, presumably, allow the nation’s swingers easier access to orgy participants and orgy planning. But how will YOU prepare for this erotic, utopian future where people are fucking in groups an...
Get Better Sleep By Getting A Lot Less Of It
Bill and Melinda Gates were recently asked by Kentucky schoolchildren what superpower they wanted most. Bill said more energy; Melinda said more time. Even to the richest couple in the world, time is money....
How To Avoid Getting Hacked Like Laremy Tunsil
Laremy Tunsil might have the distinction of being the only celebrity to claim “I was hacked” without lying, as our own website was quick to note. It’s the quickest, laziest, lamest excuse to toss out after, say, a direct message that wasn’t as direct as expected (see wretched Anthony’s Weiner) or a ...
Urban Meyer Left Hanging
Five Ohio State players were selected in the NFL draft’s first round, which ought to make coach Urban Meyer very proud. But for at least one moment last night, Urbz was left by his lonesome....
How To Dump Someone Tactfully, And Make A Clean Break
Breaking up with someone is one of life’s fondest moments, up there with clasping your sticky, newborn baby to your chest and hearing the first few notes of “Sorry” ring out across the dancefloor. Just kidding, obviously: dumping a person is rotten and no fun at all, which is often why it takes so l...
Caps Beat Pens On Oshie Overtime Hat Trick-Capper That Holds Up Under Review
Washington took the first game of its series against Pittsburgh tonight on an overtime wrap-around goal by T.J. Oshie that capped a hat trick but needed video review in order to be verified....
Here's Laremy Tunsil Admitting He Took Money At Ole Miss Before Getting Abruptly Hustled Off Stage
After Laremy Tunsil fell to #13 in the draft, texts purporting to show conversation with Ole Miss staffers about them paying his rent popped up on his Instagram. The posts were deleted, along with Tunsil’s account, and given when they were posted, it’s highly unlikely that he posted them himself....
Here's The Moment Laremy Tunsil Learned His Instagram Had Been "Hacked"
First, a video of Laremy Tunsil smoking a substance out of a gas mask turned up on the NFL prospect’s Twitter account. Then, alleged conversations regarding improper benefits appeared on his Instagram. He learned about the latter while giving a live interview with ESPN Radio, and you can listen to i...
"It's Never Happened Before," Chris Berman Claims Of Thing That Happened Many Times Before
Chris Berman’s continued presence on ESPN’s NFL draft coverage is baffling. Here’s the Worldwide Leader’s biggest buffoon claiming no school had ever had three players drafted in the top ten picks before tonight. That, of course, has happened numerous times before....
Deadspin Up All Night: Who The Hell Are You?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep the beat going....
Austin Rivers On Relationship With His Father: "We Know Each Other As Strictly Basketball"
When Doc Rivers and the Los Angeles Clippers traded for Austin Rivers in 2015, he became the first son to play for his father in the NBA. The natural assumption was that Doc favoring his child, but when asked about playing for his father, Austin said that his bond with Doc isn’t as close as people t...
Terrible Careers My Dad Recommended
What should I be when I grow up?...
The NFL’s Desperation For Quarterbacks Is Destroying Quarterbacks
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Preorder his new book here....
Pizza Box Is Neither Pizza Nor Box
Almost every day, we see people peddling novelty foodstuffs with dreams of virality. To offer some pushback against this desperate search for e-relevance, we often need to ask some hard questions. Today’s culprit is the Pizza Box—a box for pizza that is, itself, a pizza....
Even Companies Trying To Be Diverse Suck At Being Diverse
Think about it like a math problem: When two out of four final candidates for a job are women, there is a 50 percent chance that the candidate hired in the end will be a woman. Makes sense, right? So when one out of the final four candidates for a job is a woman, what do you think the chances are th...