Locker Page 571 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Acceptable Uses Of Snapchat's Bob Marley Filter
So Snapchat has chosen to celebrate 4/20 with a totally advisable Bob Marley filter that gives you blackface and dreadlocks. They’ll be pulling it and humbly apologizing any time now; I am typing this as fast as I can. Anyway, here are some experiments I’ve conducted. Thank you for your time, which ...
Harry The Hawk Crotched Himself
That ugly-ass Hawks-Celtics game was only made less painful to watch by an unfortunate pratfall from Atlanta’s mascot, who will not be fertilizing eggs anytime soon. Keep an eye on Harry’s tightrope routine at the bottom of the screen:...
ESPN Interviews One Of The Guys From "Meet Me In Temecula"
The Christmas season is all about peace on Earth, goodwill towards your neighbors, and defending the honor of your favorite basketball player by driving 35 minutes to go fight some chump who talked shit online. Two Christmases ago, Twitter user @MyTweetsRealAF made the drive down to Temecula, Ca. af...
That Terrible Celtics-Hawks Game, In One Play
The Hawks just took a 2-0 lead in their first round series with the Boston Celtics after a prehistoric, listless game. Avery Bradley didn’t play because of a hamstring injury, Kelly Olynynk missed the game with a shoulder problem, and the Hawks’ coolest player, Dennis Schröder, turned his ankle at t...
Report: NCAA President Mark Emmert Still Owes Former Employer $49K
Mark Emmert is the man at the helm of the scam that is the NCAA. He oversees an organization that made over $1 billion in revenue in 2014, and for his troubles, he gets a $1.8 million salary (and that was as of 2013; he’s almost assuredly making more now). The athletes who make him his money are pro...
The Celtics Just Had The Worst First Quarter In NBA Playoff History
The Atlanta Hawks were held scoreless for the last five minutes and change of the first quarter of tonight’s playoff game against Boston, but that doesn’t matter because the shamrock boys just took a world historic shit and scored only seven points over the entire first period on 3-for-23 shooting. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Shake Your Hair, Have Some Fun
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Like every day, today was beautiful. ...
A "Vodka Diet Coke" Is Not A Cocktail
Earlier today, during an interview game of “73 Questions,” a faceless reporter from Vogue asked famous robot Taylor Swift what her favorite cocktail is. The Diet Coke brand ambassador said it’s a “vodka Diet Coke,” which is a drink that can indeed exist by way of mixing the ingredients found in its ...
Nearly Perfect: The Chicago Bulls Were Frauds
Children don’t pick their heroes, they gravitate to them. This youthful ignorance is blissful insofar as it frees one to feel that magnetic pull without questioning why it exists in the first place. The Jordan-era Chicago Bulls thus became the team of my childhood without any real reason beyond the...
"I Have Pages," George R.R. Martin Tells Deadspin
As regular readers know, we’ve previously advanced the theory that George R.R. Martin, author of the popular A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy novels, hasn’t produced a new entry in his best-selling series in five years because he has no pages. (To put things into perspective, Martin has published one ...
Voting Booth Selfies Aren't Legal Everywhere, But They Should Be
Can you snap a poorly lit selfie right there in the booth with your ballot all filled out? Can you do a vote just for the ’Gram? Technically, yes, you can take the picture wherever, but your social-media share might be illegal depending on where you are. Many states ban the practice with laws intend...
Giants Fan Grabs Fair Ball, Possibly Ruins His Own Life
In the bottom of the seventh inning of last night’s Giants-Diamondbacks game, a Giants fan sitting near the left-field line accidentally reached out and grabbed a fair ball. This happens all the time at baseball games, but things took a turn for the tragic in this instance....
Nearly Perfect: The Indiana Pacers Were A Vanished Ideal
The Indiana Pacers were a pretty, pretty basketball team. Do people know that now? It all came back at once, watching the bleary video of them facing the Bulls on Boxing Day of 1995. The in-game graphics reminded viewers that the Pacers had won the Central Division the year before—Michael Jordan’s b...
Manhattan's DA Reminds You Upskirting Is Illegal There, And Gross Everywhere
Not every state has rules on the books making it illegal for men to covertly photograph a woman’s genital region just because she’s wearing a dress or a skirt. (I’m sure lawmakers in those states just have more faith in people’s inherent respect for women’s bodies.) But New York does. ...
The Rockets Are A Miserable Basketball Team
The Houston Rockets fired their coach after just 11 games this season, finished 41-41, and are the eighth seed in the Western Conference playoffs. That is to say, they’re a mediocre NBA team, and therefore have some glaring problems, or else they would be better than mediocre. They get back-cut to d...
The Warriors Didn't Even Need Steph Curry To Handle The Rockets
While the early playoff games were on this evening, a mystery was unfolding at the Warriors’ arena. Steph Curry had been listed as questionable for tonight’s Game 2 against the Rockets since he turned his ankle on Saturday, and there seemed to be genuine uncertainty about whether or not he’d play up...
Holy Shit, Kevin Durant Was Bad Tonight
Despite being a team composed of Dirk Nowitzki plus some future Guys To Remember, the Mavericks beat the Thunder in Oklahoma City tonight and took back home court advantage in their opening round series. The Mavs have Steven Adams’ slow release to thank for that, as well as Raymond Felton’s chubby e...
Mavericks Down Thunder As Would-Be Steven Adams Game-Winner Comes Too Late
The Dallas Mavericks sunk the Oklahoma City Thunder 85-84 tonight after Raymond Felton of all people carried them in the fourth quarter. Kevin Durant went 7-for-33, but the Thunder had a chance to take the win after Felton missed two free throws with seven seconds left. Oklahoma City got to the rim ...
Just Stay Out Of Russell Westbrook's Way
Russell Westbrook is an intense dude, and if he’s determined to do a million dabs with Cameron Payne, maybe you should just let him do so in peace?...