Locker Page 580 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At Least Man City Is Giving Bournemouth Supporters Something Interesting To Watch
Poor AFC Bournemouth. For those of us who hitched our stars to the Cherries before this season instead of, uh, Leicester, it’s been less-than-fun. (Not awful, mind you; being clear of relegation is nice.) At least supporters get to see some fun soccer from the opponents, as displayed today when Manc...
The Definitive Opinion on Basketball Players Wearing Short Shorts
A gentleman named Chase emailed in to Jezspin Day because he REALLY wants to know what us ladyfolk think of the new short shorts that basketball men are sporting these days. Chase, this sports blog is for you....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood</i>
It’s time to crash Deadspin’s ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours to watch reruns of The Americans. ...
Actually, This Is the Best Sports Moment of All Time
Vicki Gunvalson got nailed in the head by a football during the fourth season of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County. I don’t know why Deadspin hasn’t covered it before now. ...
Man Achieves Adequacy
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and surprise-interviewed him about this historic achievement. ...
Report: Lebron Looking For a New Home
Lebron has been out of his element in his present situation, it’s safe to say, and sources say he needs to find a new home....
Do Some of You People <i>Really</i> Stand Up When You Wipe Your Asses?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Drew is on vacation, and Jezebel is running Deadspin today. I am running Funbag with a little help from some old Deadspin friends....
You Should Have Sex to Maxwell’s <i>Urban Hang Suite</i>
There’s a handful of artists who universally earn a spot on everyone’s sex playlists. Janet, Sade, Prince, etc. Their slow jams, classic and fuck-to-able, are made for cramming between the likes of the new Rihanna (“Yeah I Said It”) and that one flawless Weeknd song you squirm along to (“Earned It”)...
<i>Rudy</i> Sucks
Rudy, the 1993 biopic about known fraud Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, is often ranked among the best sports movies of all time. Well, counterpoint: Rudy is actually a terrible movie about a terrible man who complains his way to success. It is not a film that exemplifies strength and resilience. It’s a fi...
A Comprehensive List of All the Sports I Should Have Quit Immediately
I spent my formative years in a sports-obsessed southern town surrounded by girls who were good at sports, girls who loved watching sports, and girls who were good at sports and also loved watching sports. Unfortunately, as an anemic and noodle-bodied sloth with zero competitive instincts who was tr...
Here Is Your Ultimate Sports Party Pump-Up Mix to Get You Very Hype
The Jezebel staff is very excited to join you all today, which is a great day for sports—all sports. We love sports!...
15 of Carol Aird's Most Scorching Glances
Everything Carol Aird looks at quickly turns to scorched earth, so scroll through this list of her most flames-inducing glances quickly! If you don’t, the incomparable heat generated by the protagonist of Todd Haynes’s 2015 masterpiece will set your heart—and maybe your entire home—on fire!...
How to Do Everything
Want to learn how to do things? We’re here to help....
Dunk Contest Competitor Needs To Increase His IHOPs
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Mirotic, Mirotic, Put Your Hands All Over My Body
WMBC’s evening news presented some highlights of last week’s Knicks-Bulls game, and anchor Mark Fontes of the New York City-area independent station struggled a bit with a certain unfamiliar Montenegrin pro basketballer’s name....
Deadspin Up All Night: Soak It In
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Please continue to support Deadspin after tomorrow, which will be a very fine day....
Put These Shameful Conference Commissioners Right In The Toilet
You would hope that if someone were to make an argument against paying college athletes in the year of our Lord 2016, that this someone would dig up with a few ideas that were at least slightly less mendacious, self-serving, and paternalistic than the ones that originally founded the amateurism scam...
This Is The Worst Thing Ever Written About Millennials
Let me preempt you here: You’re right, I probably haven’t read everything written about millennials. Whatever fibers (tendons? nerves?) are strained by eye-rolling wouldn’t be able to handle all that, in my case. And, in fact, I invite you to propose other contenders for this title. But what I’ve go...
Nick Young Is Done With 2016, You Guys
Here’s a tweet that Lakers guard Nick Young, who has had some problems recently, just sent and then deleted almost immediately:...