Locker Page 582 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Point Giannis To Wreck Shit On A Permanent Basis
Good news for all the Giannis Antetokounmpo fans out there, particularly those of us who have enjoyed the results of Jason Kidd’s “Fuck it, let’s put the 6-foot-11 monster at point guard” experiment. According to Kidd, Antetokounmpo will be the team’s starting point guard next season....

Teleportation Is The Best Superpower, And We’re Getting Closer
I’m not going to waste too many words selling you on that first idea. Of course teleportation is the best superpower, and I’m confident you know that regardless of how you feel about planes, trains, or automobiles. Teleportation is so good that if you had one wish, and world peace was on the table, ...

Young Thug: Still A Genius Alien Child
This spring is Slime Season, and for once I’m grateful that this does not just refer to my seasonally allergic eyeballs, gathering gunk. Young Thug just dropped his tightest release since last year’s Barter 6, and it’s worth keeping on a loop for the foreseeable future....

The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....

The Dadspin Explainer: Hitler
Here at Dadspin, we understand how difficult it is to explain certain subjects to your children. This is why we’ve created Dadspin Explainer, a handy running guide to teaching your children about really horrible shit. ...

Little Kid Runs Onto The Court To Hug Carmelo Anthony
Little man here must live in a state of perpetual basketball disappointment: his hometown team is the New Orleans Pelicans, and he likes Carmelo Anthony. So if Carmelo Anthony is in town and he has tickets in the lower bowl, he’s going to sprint onto the court and get a hug, dadgummit....

The Bulls Made A Kirk Hinrich Tribute Video And Set It To U2, Again
Kirk Hinrich is, if not quite a Bulls legend, than certainly a Bulls stalwart. He was drafted by Chicago back in 2003, and across two stints with the team racked up the third most games played in franchise history, only behind two guys named Michael and Scottie. ...

What's This Now
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Deadspin Up All Night: Came A Long Way From Them Corners
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. There’s more where that came from....

Tevas: Good In Rain
You should wear Tevas in the rain. They are the best shoe for this purpose....

Some Things That Could Be But Hopefully Are Not #OceanMeat
So someone at Arby’s apparently couldn’t remember the word “fish.”...

Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...

L.A. Police Chase Ends With Carjacking Suspect Attempting To Steal Police Cruiser
Los Angeles never fails to disappoint. Here’s some San Fernando Valley action from this evening, in which a carjacking suspect gets cornered after a PIT maneuver and proceeds to go straight GTA, hopping into the police cruiser. She didn’t get far!...

V.J. Beachem Snatched Some Souls
Notre Dame-UNC is showing Philadelphia what real basketball looks like, and V.J. Beachem brought the thunder (while inducing a case of the vapors in teammate Zach Auguste)....

Tyler Lydon Hits Shoeless Three-Pointer
Who throws a shoe? The Syracuse Orange, who dispensed with footwear late in the first half against Virginia when freshman Tyler Lydon got tied up, later shooting—and making—a somewhat crooked three-pointer....

Deadspin Up All Night: A Scandal On The Front Page
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Catch you on the Night Shift....

The Hawks Stranded Jeff Teague At The Detroit Arena Last Night
The Hawks beat the Pistons last night, and Jeff Teague scored 12 points in the victory. This apparently wasn’t enough to get him his spot on the team bus, as they left without him and he had to call his sister to come and pick him up. At least he had a pizza?...

Boban Marjanovic Executes Slowest Dunking-On In NBA History
Gregg Popovich rested his starters last night in Oklahoma City, or rather, he unleashed Boban Marjanovic on the Thunder. He didn’t exactly play very well (somehow he only grabbed six rebounds?), but he did manage to pull off the most glacial dunk of the 2016 season, over 60 percent of OKC’s starting...

Goal-Scorer Crushed
Drake Caggiula opened the scoring of tonight’s NCAA tournament game between Michigan and North Dakota, and his reward was getting drilled by an official. That’s two minutes for roughing....

Screencap Classix: March 26, 2010
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