Locker Page 592 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: You Were Working As A Waitress In A Cocktail Bar
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. A cocktail bar....
Holy Shit, The Warriors Lost To The Lakers
In what is the greatest statistical upset in NBA history, the Los Angeles Lakers somehow beat the Golden State Warriors 112-95 this afternoon. Before the game, the Lakers had a .190 winning percentage and the Warriors were sitting pretty at .917. That’s the largest gap between winning percentages an...
Get A Load Of This <i>Chicago Tribune</i> Columnist's Bad Steph Curry Take
Whatever your opinion on the Golden State Warriors—whether you think they can eat shit, or believe that their haters should shut the fuck up, or [untangleable mess of puns], or you love them—it’s inarguable that they are good at basketball. That’s sort of a ridiculous premise to have to establish, b...
Big Ten Network Melts Down, Airs Depeche Mode And Morrissey Songs Instead Of Commentary
If you were in the mood to hear Depeche Mode’s “Get The Balance Right” or Morrissey’s “Everyday Is Like Sunday” instead of play-by-play and analysis during today’s Illinois-Penn State game, the Big Ten Network delivered....
Manu Ginobili Is Stronger Than Ever After His Ball Surgery
On February 4, the San Antonio Spurs announced that Manu Ginobili would miss a month after requiring testicular surgery to repair whatever happened to his Ginobilis when Ryan Anderson plunked them with a stray knee....
John Wall, Goddamn
The Wizards lost a close one at home tonight to the Indiana Pacers. The end of the game was bad and dumb and full of nothing but free throws, but John Wall went and hit one of the wackiest circus shots of the season late in the game to keep the Wiz boys in it....
Deadspin Up All Night: Blurred Together
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don’t stop, get it get it....
Dog Takes Semi Truck On Joyride, Crashes Into A Tree And A Parked Car
Labrador retrievers are wonderful, loving, intelligent dogs. They can do lots of people stuff, like fetch bats for a baseball team. One people skill that they are apparently pretty bad at: driving....
Utica Greens Are The Dopest Meal You Can Make With "Greens" In The Name
We do this thing in my house where we arbitrarily shoehorn green things into the family diet, generally in quantities insufficient for any real nutritional purpose. Most often, this takes the form of a small bowl of sad lettuce splashed with cheap balsamic and presented as some sort of pre-dinner ha...
YYYYEAAAAAH BOYYYYYYYY! Flavor Flav Delivers Salt Lake City Weather Report
We have so many questions....
Carmelo Anthony Sounds So Sad After The Knicks' Latest Collapse
The Knicks have had a rather tempestuous last month. They fired Derek Fisher, got into just the dumbest heckling controversy, and had to hold a press conference denying that Kurt Rambis was, in fact, horny online. On top of all that, they’ve lost 16 of 19. Kristaps Porzingis’ continued delightfulnes...
Cristiano Ronaldo Starts Hat Trick With Pair Of Brilliant Goals
Cristiano Ronaldo shook? Not if today’s appearance against Celta is any sign, as the Real Madrid hero earned a hat trick by the 64th minute after a trio of stunning second-half goals. The first came on a screamer in open play, and the second on a vintage Ronaldo free kick....
Deadspin Up All Night: Right To The End
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m headed out of here for a while. Thanks....
Who Did This?
The Dodo, the internet’s best source for fucked-up animal news, has once again derailed my evening. I’ve lost the ability to do anything but stare at photos of this absurdly busted dog and laugh until I cry....
I Don't Think This Is A Very Good Idea, Bryce Harper
I don’t work out, but I still feel comfortable saying that this looks like a pretty dumb way to exercise:...
How To Party Without Drinking
About two years ago, I quit drinking. Initially, I didn’t attempt to “mask” my teetotalism at social gatherings: I’d meet a group at a bar, never order anything, and give long-winded answers to anyone who asked why. As my friends and coworkers can attest, it can be awkward as hell being stone-cold s...
Timberwolves Fans Sue Team Over Bullshit Ticket Policy
It’s not just the Yankees that are trying to shake down their own fans via oppressive ticketing policies. The Minnesota Timberwolves are doing their part to speed us toward a future in which all games are played in front of crowds consisting only of rich people and paid-for empty seats....
Bad Old Man Would Vote For Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a screaming bowl of sausage gravy, went on the radio yesterday and said that if the presidential election were to happen tomorrow, he would probably vote for Donald Trump, a racist haggis....
Deadspin Up All Night: The World Would Swing If I Were King
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Can I help it if I still dream time to time. ...
LeBron, You Okay, Bud?
LeBron James might be going through some shit right now....