Locker Page 607 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Martin O'Malley, A Stock Photo Of A Handsome Man, Ends His Presidential Bid
Generic man Martin O’Malley ended his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination last night. The Iowa caucus was rough on the former Baltimore mayor and Maryland governor: Once poll-workers sorted out the caucus-goers who thought they were standing in line to get their photo taken with “tha...
How Much Time And Money Would Bruce Springsteen Waste Trying To Trade Shoes For Sex?
Bruce Springsteen is on the road yet again, now playing The River in its entirety. That means he’ll be singing “Drive All Night.” I’ve seen it, and can report that it is, as it always has been, a really dumb song—the dumbest thing ever credited to Springsteen....
Do People Use Siri To Sext? It’s A Special Super Bowl Funbag!
I got good news, and I got bad news. The bad news is that this week’s Funbag is a special podcast edition, featuring me and Marchman addressing all of your most pressing questions. We had to do it this way because I’m in San Francisco covering the Super Bowl for GQ. (Don’t worry, there will still be...
Is It Legal To Drink While Going Through A Car Wash?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....
Kevin Love Finally Got In The Picture, And The Cavs Are Clicking
With last night’s victory against the Indiana Pacers, the Cleveland Cavaliers are 5-1 since David Blatt was fired and Tyronn Lue was named head coach. After the game, Kevin Love punctuated his team’s string of successes with this Instagram post:...
DeMarcus Cousins Had Kings Remove Lunar New Year Giveaway T-Shirts
Lunar New Year is next Monday, and the Sacramento Kings are celebrating the holiday during tonight’s game against the Milwaukee Bucks with player introductions in Mandarin and a pregame celebration. Originally, their celebration was also supposed to include these Year of the Monkey shirts given away...
Byron Scott Is Still Saying Baffling Things About D'Angelo Russell
Halfway through the season, Lakers coach Byron Scott is still giving asinine quotes to the media and ham-fistedly messing with the development of his number two draft pick, D’Angelo Russell....
Nommy Graminated?
Buper Spowl Dedia May is off to a stantastic fart....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Am Normal, Not Deranged
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
I'm Not Broke Anymore, And I'm Terrified
“I’m sorry, can you say that one more time?” That was my response to the recruiter who’d just revealed my new job’s salary. She repeated the offer, and though I wanted to shout my assent from the top of my lungs, I was in the middle of an empty coffee shop, plus I didn’t want to scare her off. Besid...
What Should We Call Draymond Green's Perfect Triple-Doubles?
The triple-double has always been more of a fun box-score artifact than a meaningful statistic, but Draymond Green has been gilding lilies that deserve special recognition....
Report: Suns Fire Jeff Hornacek
Is it still a Woj Bomb if no one’s awake to hear it, and it’s not particularly surprising news anyway? Late last night, Yahoo Sports reported that the Phoenix Suns have fired head coach Jeff Hornacek, and it feels like a mercy killing at this point....
Your Pro Bowl Highlight Is Richard Sherman Dropping An RKO On Clay Matthews
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John Scott Scores Two Goals In NHL All-Star Game, Wins MVP Trophy
John Scott—whom the NHL tried its hardest to keep out of the All-Star Game and who is not even currently in the NHL—brought the Nashville crowd to its feet after scoring two goals for his Pacific team in the first game. A Corey Perry goal proved to be the sole scoring in the second game, as Scott le...
If Calvin Johnson Is Retiring, This Is His Final Career NFL Touchdown
ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported today that Calvin Johnson told the Lions he is retiring. If ‘Megatron’ keeps his word, that leaves his career numbers as follows: 83 touchdowns on 731 receptions for 11,619 yards. Here’s the last touchdown he scored, on the final game of the 2015 season against the Bear...
Oh No, J.J. Redick
It’s time again for us to make fun of the Clippers’ J.J. Redick, who today blew a bunny during L.A.’s home matchup with the Bulls. We imagine you’ll enjoy this, simply that even nine years into his pro career Redick is still the most hated player in college basketball....
Here Are Some GIFs From Last Night's NHL All-Star Skills Competition
You probably missed last night’s NHL All-Star Skills competition, an event that is as interesting and fun as the NFL Pro Bowl is boring and spirit-sucking. As the All-Star Game proper gets underway right now on NBC Sports Network—it’ll be fun too, really, please watch—here are a few GIFs from last n...
Everything NBA Broadcasters Have Said About Jeremy Lin's Hair This Season
Jeremy Lin has enjoyed a solid year backing up Kemba Walker for the Charlotte Hornets. After the inferno that was Linsanity, he didn’t become a superstar, but he also did not drop off the face of the map. He’s just sort of a guy, a decent back up point guard on an okay team....
Draymond Green Gets It
Draymond Green and the Warriors lost by -3 in Philadelphia to those guys who are always hogging the court down at your local Y. The Warriors clinched the narrow loss with a Harrison Barnes three, from a great pass out of the middle from Green. However, they really shouldn’t have let it get that clos...
Sergey Kovalev Quacks At Adonis "Chickenson," Who Then Comes After Kovalev
Sergey Kovalev battered Jean Pascal in retaining his three light heavyweight belts tonight in Montreal, but the Russian wasn’t content to stop landing blows after Pascal’s trainer Freddie Roach threw in the towel after the seventh round. Kovalev brought up the failed attempts at unifying the light h...