Locker Page 619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Toronto Raptors Executive Had An Extremely Tight Wedding
I’m fully aware of the fact that rich people’s ridiculous weddings get written up in places like Vogue precisely because non-rich people will read sentences like, “Everyone gently retrieved their seat assignments from sphagnum moss falling from the boughs of a weeping cherry tree” and go, “Whaaaaaaa...
That's Why The Lakers Need To Cater To Their Youngsters
On Tuesday Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak admitted what everybody already knew: the Lakers are prioritizing the Kobe Bryant Farewell Tour, at the expense of the numerous exciting young players on the roster....
Beware Jeff Jones's Post-Game Handshakes
Old Dominion came away from Ruston tonight with a shocking upset win over Louisiana Tech—the Monarchs’ first road win of the season, and the Bulldogs’ first home loss since 2013. ODU coach Jeff Jones clearly saw someone after the game who needed a celebratory crotchpalm....
Deadspin Up All Night: You're Not!
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Exene Cervenka! You know that emoji of a smiling cat with hearts for eyes?...
Sweet Life: A Van Man Shows You How To Dude It
Stephan Shay has de rigueur facial hair. He can be found in Southern California coffee shops, sometimes wearing a beanie. He’s tan. He’s fit. He wakes up to the sound of waves playing on southern California sand, and takes road trips up and down the coast....
Deadspin Up All Night: San Francisco's Calling Us
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Love this one....
Once Again, God Bless Evan Turner, Who Is Never Not Feeling Himself
It’s high time we checked in on Celtics guard Evan Turner, a perfectly mediocre basketball player whose self-absorption is so steadfast and unconvincing that it’s impossible not to find endearing....
<i>The Water Knife's</i> Dystopian Future Is Terrifyingly Plausible
Any neo-noir story worth a damn is haunted by some large and invisible system whose presence is a struggle enough to comprehend, let alone try to fight against. That looming entity can vary from politicized drug wars (The Cartel and The Power Of The Dog) to ambient ’70s malaise (Inherent Vice) to pr...
The Bucks Are A Big Fuckin' Bummer
In our NBA season preview post, published, uh, a couple hours after the NBA season began back in October, I wrote the following about the Milwaukee Bucks:...
How To Move In With Your Significant Other
Forget your list of righteous resolutions for the new year—the best self-improvement commitment you can make is to take the plunge and finally move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you do this right, you’ll achieve a transcendental state of domesticated bliss, where every day is warm and cos...
Dirk Nowitzki Gets Rejected By The Rim, Has A Funny Excuse
Dirk Nowitzki is old as hell. He’s still great, mind you, but he’s very, very old. So old, in fact, that he’s out here getting stuffed by rim despite being seven feet tall....
LCD Soundsystem Don't Owe You Anything, Including Silence
You could’ve seen this LCD Soundsystem reunion business coming if you’d looked hard enough—if you’d looked anywhere, in fact, for any length of time and with any degree of hardness. Hell, it was obvious to anyone who watched the full-length feature film devoted to their alleged final show, a Madison...
Deadspin Up All Night: A Much Better Place
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Try not to have this stuck in your head all night! Duhn-duhn-duh-duhn-duhn, duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn ......
Is The Hall Of Fame Screwing Over Curt Schilling For His Hot Facebook Memes?
Curt Schilling is many things—a bloviator, a dummy, a bad Facebook person, a hilariously incompetent businessman—but I think the one thing we can all agree on is that, whatever his faults, the man could pitch his ass off and deserves to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Ah, but at present he is NOT. ...
I Lost Almost 50 Pounds, But Not My Inhibitions
So I’m standing in line at Taco Bell sometime in the early 2000s, and up at the counter they’ve got a TV showing us security-camera footage of ourselves, and that’s how I catch sight of the hulking, disheveled, terrifying man looming directly behind me. He is the size of 3.5 normal people, even in t...
#DaddySworeAnOath Is The Best Way To Mock Those Oregon Dinguses
Out of all the jamokes currently attending the Guns ’N Camo sleepaway camp in a remote and unspectacular administrative building in Oregon, the guy in the video above might be the jamokiest. Click play, and you’ll see Jon Ritzheimer tearfully inform his children that he won’t be home for awhile beca...
DeMarcus Cousins Had A Good Time With A Heckler
While wrapping up a 33-point, 19-rebound destruction of the Oklahoma City Thunder, Kings center DeMarcus Cousins had a little chat with a heckler in the OKC crowd. ...
Kendall Marshall's Dad Thinks The Sixers Are Racist And A Joke
Veteran point guard Kendall Marshall recently joined the Philadelphia 76ers’ active roster after recovering from an offseason knee surgery. At the time of Marshall’s return, GM Sam Hinkie put forward a theory that the team would have gotten off to a much better start had Marshall’s steady hand been ...