Locker Page 633 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: Supersonic
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Good night for some tea....
Are You Teaching Your Kids Cool Enough Words?
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I got to sixth grade, I put away childish things. Such as boring words like cool and fun and good and bad, which in an effort to promote more expressive writing, the Wall Street Journal says are now bann...
How To Tell Your Folks You're Not Coming Home For The Holidays
No matter how old you get, there’s some news that’s hard to break to your parents. Nobody ever wants to trigger another “we’re not mad, we’re just disappointed” situation. The holidays especially hold a lot of emotional weight, so making plans can get complicated, especially when you’ve got ... othe...
Watch DeAndre Jordan Miss 22 Free Throws In One Game
Clippers center DeAndre Jordan made a bit of NBA history last night, tying the record for most missed free throws in a game. While getting maimed by the Trail Blazers’ hack-a-Jordan strategy, Jordan bricked 22 freebies....
Jahlil Okafor Lays Bare One Of The Flaws With The Process
Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. The saying isn’t actually true—many of the best things happen after midnight, in fact—but it’s a mantra Jahlil Okafor would’ve done well to internalize over the past two mont...
Deadspin Up All Night: Been So Long
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s keep at it....
Scooby-Doo Theme Songs, Ranked
The notion of a jock, a grind, a beauty queen, a burnout, and a large, anthropomorphic canine piling into a detailed van to solve mysteries has proven indisputably, irresistibly evergreen. In the 46 years since Joe Ruby and Ken Spears co-midwifed Scooby-Doo, this franchise has become a cross-media j...
Michael Jordan's Ghost Is Retiring, At Fucking Last
This will be Kobe Bryant’s final season. He announced it yesterday, and the news made me think, instantly, of Michael Jordan. The last, greatest, and most devoted of his followers is passing; it’s the latest and most final-seeming of his many deaths, the destruction of his last on-court horcrux. Do ...
There's Never A Bad Time To Enjoy Some Vintage Shaq Highlights
For no particular reason, let’s take a moment to gawk at some of Shaquille O’Neal’s best highlights....
Our Roomba Vacuumed The House With Dog Shit
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. Are you dirty? Email her....
Hassan Whiteside Pens Moving Tribute To Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant’s retirement announcement will surely bring an outpouring of tributes from his fellow players, both young and old. A lot of these guys grew up idolizing Bryant, and now they have to say goodbye. What does one even say in this situation? How do you even begin to thank Kobe for all that he...
Fuck Off, Kobe
The funniest thing about Kobe Bryant’s retirement “announcement” yesterday is that Kobe Bryant was clearly the last person to know that this would be Kobe Bryant’s final season. Honestly, I thought he had announced it already, given that he’s a broken-down old mummy who can no longer play basketball...
On A Special Night, Kobe Bryant Delivers In The Clutch Like Only 2015 Kobe Can
Indiana led the Lakers by three with ten seconds left at Staples Center. On the night Kobe Bryant announced his retirement, there was no question which player would take the game-tying shot to force overtime....
I Could Play Better Defense Than James Harden On This Play
Look, James Harden is an elite NBA player, who maybe should have been the MVP last season. He’s good and fine on offense, despite his early slump, but I am saying to you now that he is so bad as a defender that I could put forth, at a minimum, the effort to foul Lance Thomas in this specific instanc...
Kobe Bryant Announces Retirement Via Poem
Kobe Bryant—who at 37 is shooting just 32% on 17 shots per game and looks to be a very empty shell of his former self—announced his retirement tonight, in the form of a love poem to basketball on The Players’ Tribune. An excerpt:...
Jimmy Graham Carted Off With Apparent Serious Injury [UPDATE]
Seahawks tight end Jimmy Graham left today’s game against the Steelers with his leg in an air cast after coming down awkwardly in the fourth quarter while attempting to catch a pass in the end zone. We’re awaiting word on his condition, and will update as information becomes available....
Deadspin Up All Night: Bitch You Better Off Voting For Donald Trump
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. As you were....
Reggie Jackson To OKC Heckler: "Suck My Dick, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
Turns out Russell Westbrook wasn’t the only Oklahoma City resident with some choice words for former Thunder point guard Reggie Jackson. Jackson wasn’t too happy about this, telling our man, “Suck my dick, bitch-ass nigga.”...
Eli Man Penguin Boy
Thank you, Fox, for giving us the best athlete nickname since Sauce Castillo....