Locker Page 642 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Sacramento Kings Are Starting To Show Some Cracks
It’s actually surprising that it took all of eight games for the Sacramento Kings, a team that spent the offseason doing whatever it could to claim the Most Dysfunctional Franchise award, to start experiencing some internal drama. But we’re finally starting to get down into the shit, with DeMarcus C...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Movie Premiere Was Perfectly Sad
Early on in his review of the new movie/vanity project documenting a year in the life of Cristiano Ronaldo, Daniel Taylor noted “it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.”...
ESPN's Promo For Mavericks-Clippers Goofs On The DeAndre Jordan Saga
The late-night standoff/sleepover that wooed DeAndre Jordan away from the Mavericks and back onto the Clippers will forever be one of the funniest moments in sports. So I’m cool with this silly ESPN promo for tomorrow night’s game between the Mavericks and Clippers, because nobody should ever stop m...
The T-Wolves Clobbered The Hawks And Slap-Happy Jeff Teague
It had been a long and frustrating sequence for Jeff Teague. He’d had his shot blocked twice by terrifying rubber giant Karl-Anthony Towns. The refs had missed a possible eight-second violation on the Timberwolves. Andrew Wiggins hit a crazy and-one. A tie game had become a six-point deficit with a ...
Draymond Green Throws Spectacular No-Look Inbounds Pass While Arguing With Ref
If you thought the 8-0 Golden State Warriors couldn’t get any better, think again. During Monday night’s 109-95 victory over the Detroit Pistons, Draymond Green unveiled a never-before-seen no-look inbounds pass, made even more impressive by the fact that he pulled it off while arguing with the refe...
Tonight In "What's Wayne Rooney Up To"
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Kelly Olynyk Attempts To Finish Burrito In Just Four Bites
The NBA season is long and the plane rides are plentiful, leaving plenty of time for shenanigans. On a recent team flight Celtics center Kelly Olynyk was somehow convinced to attempt to take down a monster burrito in just four bites, and of course Amir Johnson documented it (and posted it to Snapcha...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'm Hoping
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep that third eye open....
Grimes Is A Very Awkward Pop Star, Which Makes <i>Art Angels </i>Way More Fun
The truth is that all sorts of weirdos get to be pop stars nowadays, and that should excite you whether you like pop stars or weirdos. Think Lana Del Rey, who has excellent rocket-launcher technique and makes profoundly soporific records that double as fainting couches. Think Fetty Wap, who has one ...
Chicken Nugget Smackdown: Wendy's vs. Burger King vs. McDonald's
Little kids can be cool, but there are a lot of obvious arguments against parenthood. Children are demonstrably shouty, snotty, and wobbly, and they are rumored to be very expensive to maintain. It has also been widely reported that children have poor taste in television. These are among the reasons...
Timofey Mozgov Hit First Cleveland Three-Pointer
Timofey Mozgov is strongest, also largest. Mozgov dunk; Mozgov rebound; Mozgov block shot. But Mozgov is not oaf! Mozgov have skill. Mozgov shoot three!...
Kobe Bryant On Knicks' Offense: "That Ain't No Fucking Triangle, That's A Square"
Kobe Bryant played the Knicks in Madison Square Garden yesterday, which of course means he got to spend some time talking shit with Spike Lee. Thankfully, another fan sitting courtside recorded a bit of last night’s meeting between the two:...
John Oliver Gleefully Recaps Dan Snyder's "DICK BALLS" Legal Filing
We noted earlier this week a comically vulgar legal defense levied by NFL owner Dan Snyder to retain the “Washington Redskins” trademark, and HBO comic John Oliver covered the topic on his Last Week Tonight program. The organization’s point becomes even more clear when spoken out loud; Dan Snyder wa...
Aqib Talib Eye Gouged Dwayne Allen
Advanced tactics? Shove your finger in the opponent’s eye. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Light It Up Forever
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Ever forward into the future....
Kobe Bryant, What Are You Doing?
This is not a long video, nor a particularly great quality one, but it is very illustrative....
A Blown Goaltending Call Might Have Cost The Clippers Their Revenge Against The Rockets
With just about a shot clock’s worth of time left in the fourth quarter in last night’s Clippers-Rockets game, Blake Griffin rose and missed a layup that would have tied the game at 107. His follow-up also missed, thanks in part to Dwight Howard tipping it away when it was above the cylinder....
Neymar Still Neymaring
The truth is that we don’t have a staff large enough to cover every time Barcelona superhero Neymar scores a fabulous goal. But we do our best, and here’s a magisterial strike from today’s match against Villareal that deserves all your attention....
Andrew Wiggins Dunked All Over The Bulls Last Night
For a maybe-bad team, the Wolves are really fun to watch. Karl-Anthony Towns looks good and tall and spry, Ricky Rubio is finally healthy, and Young Cock Andrew Wiggins has, so far, done a better job converting his all-world athleticism into production than last year. And he won Rookie Of The Year l...
Fed Up Spurs Color Commentator Draws Dick & Balls On Broadcast
Sean Elliott, a terrible color commentator for the Spurs, was fed up yesterday for a series of technical difficulties and took his revenge here in the fourth quarter. Perfect execution for the Spurs, as always....