Locker Page 644 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Will Kobe Bryant Survive This Season?
The early part of the NBA season has been defined by a torrent of incredible Steph Curry highlights and an alternate, uglier torrent of Kobe Bryant lowlights, wherein the Lakers superstar is hopelessly air-balling shot after shot as his teammates—still regarded by Kobe as mere assistants—look on hel...
How To Argue Without Ruining Your Relationship
So here’s the thing about romantic relationships: They’re work....
<i>The Peanuts Movie </i>Is Faithful To Charles Schulz's Creation, But Still Gets It Wrong
Back in 1997, when L.A. Weekly critic Manohla Dargis gave a negative review to The Lost World, the hotly-anticipated sequel to Jurassic Park, she noted that not liking the movie was the equivalent of announcing that Christmas had been canceled to its fans. In kind, giving a thumbs-down to The Peanut...
How To Fix The NFL’s Quarterback Crisis
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
NASA Is Recruiting New Astronauts, But Don't Even Think About It
Guess what? NASA is recruiting a class of new astronauts, and anybody can apply starting in December. Sorry to dash any of your remaining childhood dreams, but it won’t be any of you. ...
This Shot May Not Have Counted, But It's Still Cool As Hell
Unfortunately for Celtics forward Jae Crowder, there’s some sort of rule against heaving a full-court inbound pass straight into the bucket. This rule is clearly stupid, and Crowder should have been awarded five points. ...
Chris Stapleton Is Your New "Real Country Music" Savior
So the 49th-annual Country Music Association Awards—the Grammys for people who hate ObamaCare, basically—went down last night, and the guy in this video won all the important ones. (Not Justin Timberlake; the other one, the burly, hirsute fella who looks like an extra in that new movie where Leonard...
Ben Carson Made A Rap Song For The Blacks
With the 2016 election now just a year away, presidential campaigns are finally getting down to serious business. As Barack Hussein Obama proved seven years back, there are oodles of black people in this country, and some even vote. The blacks are a valuable constituency, so it behooves each preside...
VOTE MARV BUSH 2016
It has been a lousy month for Jeb Bush, gang. He’s running out of cash. His polls numbers are in the shitter. He spends a lot of time now tending to his email. And he appears to be publicly melting into a puddle of tepid lip-sweat before our very eyes, if this tweet is to be believed....
The Clippers Are Good, But The Warriors Were Better
Wednesday night’s contest between the Warriors and Clippers was more hyped than some playoff games, a highly anticipated match-up considering it was an early November game. They were two of the three remaining undefeated teams in the NBA, and spent the offseason engaged in a heated war of words, the...
Bradley Beal Sinks Spurs With Game-Winning Three
The Wizards are a popular dark horse pick to emerge from the Eastern Conference and they showed why tonight, beating the Spurs 102-99 on a Bradley Beal three-pointer with just 0.3 seconds remaining. LaMarcus Aldridge does not look good on this possession, likely because of some sort of blown communi...
Reports: Miami Heat's Gerald Green Had To Be Restrained, Hospitalized
Heat swingman Gerald Green was hospitalized today after an ambulance and police were called to his Miami condominium. According to witnesses who spoke to TMZ, Green was “screaming at the top of his lungs” and causing a disturbance. He had to be restrained on a stretcher before the ambulance took him...
Adele Seems Chill
Apparently, while working with Bruno Mars on “All I Ask,” a ballad from her highly anticipated new album, 25, Adele got into a disagreement with her coauthor over a single line of the lyrics. She wanted to keep it; he wanted to cut it. It stayed in, and eventually became Mars’s favorite moment on th...
Warriors Owner: I Did Some Fuck Stuff With The Larry O’Brien Trophy
Here’s a bone-chilling collection of words from Haute Living’s new profile of Warriors owner Joe Lacob:...
The Superb Investigative-Journalism Drama <i>Spotlight </i>Makes Competence Riveting
Inspirational true stories trumpet lots of commendable human traits—heroism, perseverance, compassion—but Spotlight may be the first to celebrate competence. Based on the 2001 Boston Globe investigation that revealed the depth of the Catholic Church’s coverup of clergy sexual misconduct, this straig...
Andre Drummond Is A Hilarious Monster
After scoring 25 points and yanking down 29—twenty-goddamned-nine!—rebounds against the Pacers last night, Pistons center Andre Drummond’s per-game numbers are looking downright stupid. He’s averaging 20 points and 19 rebounds per game, and he’s the first player since 1985 to score at least 80 point...
Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...
Worrying Is Good For You, Which Is A Little Concerning
No matter how you slice it up, waiting sucks, especially when you’re waiting on important news. So how do you cope? Do you try to push bad feelings down via yoga breathing or canned champagne or whatever, or do you embrace the fact that the news might be bad? A new study says it’s better if you’re i...
Emmanuel Mudiay Trades Shots With Byron Scott
Last night’s Nuggets-Lakers game wasn’t really anything worth getting excited about—both teams are bad, you see—except to see what Nuggets rookie point guard Emmanuel Mudiay was going to do or say about Lakers head coach Byron Scott’s pregame sniping....