Locker Page 663 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...
Deadspin Up All Night: We're All Too Young To Know
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tomorrow is the first day of fall. ...
How To Not Be A Jerk On A Plane
We’ve already taught you how to be a good person on an airplane, which is important, but now it’s time to learn how to not be a total jerkoff on an airplane, which is arguably more important. This video briefs you on the basics: Don’t stow your carry-on items sideways, keep your voice down, don’t fr...
Bear To Rude Homeowner: Here's Some Shit For Ya
This big-ass brown bear thought he had found himself a nice spot to chill, but then some jabroni with a camera came along and started trouble. The bear tried to defuse the situation with a few dirt slaps, but he was eventually forced to flee, whereupon he stumbled over a bunch of debris and was made...
Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....
Robert De Niro Redeems The Dopey Fantasy That Is <i>The Intern</i>
At a time when some romantic comedies are flexing an edgier, more smart-ass tone—They Came Together, Sleeping With Other People, even Trainwreck—perhaps it’s a refreshing palate-cleanser that Nancy Meyers movies continue to operate in their own storybook world. You know what to expect from the write...
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....
How To Make Your Vacation Rental Feel Like Home
Airbnb may be the gold standard nowadays in terms of renting out real people’s houses and apartments to more adventurous travelers, but since 1999, I’ve been using Habitat NY, HomeAway, and Craigslist to find homier places to stay in locales ranging from Chelsea to Soldotna, Alaska. As a general nig...
How To Clean Semen Off Of Anything
We’re kicking off Season Two of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast in what I consider to be perfect style: covered in semen. My guest this week is Maureen O’Connor, sex columnist for New York Magazine and a contributor to The Cut, who joined me to talk about cum stains. ...
Rugby Man Trucks, Dazes Fellow Rugby Man
Samoa once again retained its dominant form against the U.S. with a 25-16 win Sunday at the Rugby World Cup, but it wasn’t on account of the Americans coming out slow. Here’s Thretton Palamo absolutely leveling Samoa’s Rey Lee-Lo with a forearm to the face, one that left Lee-Lo dazed. (Perhaps the U...
Tracy Morgan's Emmys Speech Dusted Off One Of His Best, Bawdiest Jokes
At the 2014 Emmys, Jimmy Kimmel promised us that Tracy Morgan would be back onstage next year, and last night, Morgan made good on that promise, presenting the final Emmy of the night. Of course, his touching speech focused on the June 2014 car accident that put him in an eight-day coma, and the 15 ...
WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]
Dumbasses trying to make scripted grappling “real to them” have increased their attempts to invade the pro wrestling ring, and one such Idiot made it in as a pretend secret guest on tonight’s WWE pay-per-view (the real secret: Chris Jericho). His reward? The usual: getting sacked by WWE security....
Tom Brady, True Competitor, Digs Deep
Maybe this is why nobody wants to give Tom Brady a high five....
Ball Boy Chases After Fan Who Tries To Steal Football
“We must protect the integrity of the game!” Here’s a Bears fan who grabs a kickoff that went past the end zone and tries to do his best Devin Hester impression. Roger Goodell has mustered a death squad. ...
It's Never Not Fun To Laugh At The Officials
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