Locker Page 671 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The New Miley Cyrus Record Is Exhausting, But Might Be Worth It Anyway
So what we’ve got here is Miley Cyrus singing a morbid piano ballad called “Pablow the Blowfish.” She’s wearing fluffy unicorn pajamas and playing an electric piano in an ersatz cornfield; additional props include a stuffed unicorn on a stool and an inflatable Super Mario Bros. power-up mushroom. Ve...
A Unified Theory of Dusting
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Deadspin Up All Night: Conceal Don't Feel
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I asked my daughter, who’s four, to pick tonight’s selection, so....
The Six Best Teacher Gimmicks
Before we get to the Funbag, I gotta talk about how shitty this Will Smith concussion movie looks. I swear it got made strictly because Will Smith wanted to try out a new accent. It looks like 120 minutes of people warning Accent Will Smith about stuff....
Kool Keith's Relaxing Guide To Wine
Beloved as a hip-hop eccentric, Kool Keith is best known for traveling at the speed of thought with the Ultramagnetic MC’s and, as a solo artist, embracing a wide range of brilliant personas, from Dr. Octagon to Black Elvis to Clean Man. Another of those characters goes by the name of Fly Ricky the ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
DeAndre Jordan Drops Agent Who Maybe Sorta Pushed Him To Sign With Mavs
Hey, remember all that shit with DeAndre Jordan back in July? No? Let me briefly remind you....
Tyga, We Get It
Tyga has a new video for his song “Stimulated,” featuring his girlfriend Kylie Jenner, who up until three weeks ago was 17. The song is an ode to the fact that the youngest Kardashian is barely legal and too young for the 25-year-old rapper. It’s the anthem of a predator. We get it. Enough already....
Eras To Live In, Ranked
The past was awful. It was a time of choleric ignoramuses flopping around in their own shit and killing each other for entertainment. I feel bad for everyone who lived before today....
Wes Craven, RIP: The Mild-Mannered King Of Our Nightmares
By all accounts, Wes Craven was a lovely human being: a mild professorial type who made the people around him comfortable. In interviews, he came off as an excellent teller of dad jokes, and did not have an intimidating or particularly unsettling presence. But in three successive decades, the writer...
How To Win The Fair
Who’s ready for a big, fat line of pure, uncut Americana? If you answered “yes” or “no” or did not answer at all out of fear and/or confusion, you’re in luck! Because it’s Fair Season, people, and you’re all invited. So grab your taste for sodium nitrates, and let’s get moving....
Hurricane Katrina Anniversary Pieces: An Exhaustive Guide
Journalists are inherently sick fucks. Of course, we need to be—that’s how we get the news, and telling the stories of disadvantaged, voiceless people is just about the best reason to get into this racket. But there’s still something gross at the heart of the impulse to turn Tragedy into Content—eve...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Here Is The Trailer For That Will Smith Movie About The NFL And Concussions
Here’s the first trailer for Concussion, a very serious-looking movie about how Will Smith discovered CTE in the brains of football players and how the NFL tried to silence him with lots of mean stares....
Deadspin Up All Night: What's The Fastest Way To Heaven?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go to the beach....
Montana Upsets Top-Ranked North Dakota State In Bonkers College Football Kickoff
Bob Stitt earned the Montana head coaching job by demonstrating an innovating offense at D-II Colorado School of Mines, and in his first game at the helm of the Grizzlies he managed the simple task of knocking off North Dakota State—NCAA Division I champions each of the past four seasons....
Deadspin Up All Night: You Get Me High
Thank you got your continued support of Deadspin. Lemon juice kills ants....
James Rockets In Free Kick Off The Woodwork
It’s no surprise that Real Madrid is managing things just fine today against Real Betis, but this free kick goal by James Rodríguez is anything but pedestrian. ...