Locker Page 673 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Complete Guide To Buying Her Flowers
You wanted to do something nice for your girlfriend—maybe even a little corny. And, hey, look, there’s a supermarket with a flower section on your way home from work! Buying flowers sounds easy, until towers of flowers are staring back at you (labeled with scientific names almost nobody actually use...

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Arizona Cardinals
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

America Has Lost The War Against Guns
Yesterday morning in Roanoke, Va., a man named Vester Lee Flanagan walked up to newscaster Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward as they were filming a segment for local TV station WDBJ, and, using a handgun, shot them to death. (He also critically wounded Vicki Gardner, the woman Parker and Ward we...

Cincinnati Also Wants To Steal Money From Its Football Players
You’d think the wave of shit that came crashing down on Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster after he told reporters of his plans to discipline his players with monetary fines, followed by the Hokies AD’s immediate nuking of the asinine idea, would have scared other schools away from tryin...

Auburn Athletics Convinced The School To Preserve Its Athlete Major
Every university has one: the athlete major, which for various reasons—usually close ties among instructors, tutors, and the athletics department, and occasionally a reputation for easy or downright nonexistent coursework—is disproportionately packed with athletes. At Auburn, it’s public administrat...

Only An Idiot Would Buy A $600 Sweatshirt
Who was it that first said, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap?” Well, according to Bieber Clothing Tumblr, a site for teens dedicated to fashion worn by this particular emotional teen, Justin Bieber spent $600 on the following sweatshirt; one that looks like something he picked up at Goodw...

Report: Woman Sues Derrick Rose, Says He Drugged, Gang Raped Her
TMZ is reporting tonight that Derrick Rose has been sued by a woman who says Rose and two of his friends “drugged and gang raped her.” The woman is asking for unspecified damages. Here is how the lawsuit describes what happened, per TMZ: ...

Asshole College Football Coach Comes Up With New Way To Screw Over His Players
Earlier this year, NCAA member institutions voted to redefine athletic scholarships so that they covered not only the cost of tuition, room and board, books, and fees, but also incidental expenses. Essentially, it gives players a bit of pocket money, which is really the least the NCAA could do consi...

Deadspin Up All Night: A Life Once Full Now An Empty Vase
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. And raise what’s left of the flag for me. ...
![Good News, Siberians: Now You May Have A Happy Meal [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1402969664089828522.png)
Good News, Siberians: Now You May Have A Happy Meal [Update]
Editor’s Note: As several keen-eyed readers have pointed out, the Siberian Times source article for this post is from 2013. D’oh. Still a pretty funny image....

Classic Man: "Women Should Take Baths"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we covered the art of bribery; today, we’re talking about chicks and baths....

<i>Mr. Robot </i>Telegraphed Its Punches And Knocked Us Out Anyway
The funniest thing about Mr. Robot, USA’s deeply unfunny and usually badass new sullen-hacker dystopian drama, is all the passwords, and how easy it is for a sullen hacker to crack them. Your hero is Elliot Alderson, who has crippling social anxiety and a black hoodie permanently grafted to his body...

How To Deal With A Hangover At Work
When you’re drinking on a weeknight, you never think you’re going to drink to the point of having a horrid hangover the next day. So, you agree to happy hour... with the promise to yourself that you’ll only drink a very responsible two drinks and then leave the bar. After your third, you swear you’l...

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

The Dystopian Love Triangle <i>Z For Zachariah </i>Proves That Hell Is Other People
One of the best things about Z for Zachariah, the new drama starring Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Chris Pine, is that even after seeing the movie twice, I still have no idea how I feel about any of its three protagonists. That’s by design. Based on Robert C. O’Brien’s 1974 sci-fi novel, the ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Here I Lie
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Here comes the pizza....

The Riff In "Where Are Ü Now" Is Actually Justin Bieber's Voice
The New York Times has a neat feature on the making of the song “Where Are Ü Now,” a single, or really the single off Diplo and Skrillex’s collaboration Jack Ü. It’s a catchy song, and the melodic flute-like riff that the song hinges on has been pretty much everywhere this summer. The compelling par...

The Perfect Replacement For The Confederate Flag
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Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Dudley Boyz Return To WWE, And You Better Believe There Were Tables Involved
New Day seized the WWE Tag Team championship during last night’s SummerSlam pay-per-view, but their victory lap on tonight’s Raw was cut short by a duo that hasn’t been seen on pro wrestling’s biggest promotion in ten years: Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley. The Dudley Boyz—who, in WWE’s Attitude Era popu...