Locker Page 681 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cleancast: So Many Terrible Messes Happen Inside Your Cars, My God
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Freddy Hernandez, a/k/a Tavarish, he of Jalopnik, who joined me to answer some of the questions you’ve asked about cleaning up messes and smells that have befouled your car interiors. I was absurdly excited for this!...

Adios, Sucker: A Conservative Bids A Mostly Fond Adieu To Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show is tonight, and everyone promises to miss him, even if, like me, they stopped watching him religiously years ago. It wasn’t too long after he made his mawkish 2004 plea to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala to “stop hurting America”—and, as a result, became t...

Dem's Fightin' Words
Thanks to Peteski for hipping me to these dope pictures of base brawls by the most talented Harrison Freeman over at Juxtapoz Magazine. ...

Donald Sterling Files For Divorce From His Wife Shelly
Donald Sterling filed for divorce from his wife of 60 years Wednesday, potentially beginning yet another legal battle against Shelly Sterling. The documents filed in LA Superior Court cite irreconcilable difference, and note that the Sterlings have been separated since August 2012. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: I Can't Stay Away
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Drink water....

Drunk Meals 101: What To Cook When You're Totally Obliterated
Before plying myself with gross quantities of beer or liquor (or both), I like to ensure I’ve lined my belly with sufficient quantities of foodstuff. I’m not sure if it’s true—I got a D- in high school biology, and therefore lack even the most fundamental understanding of metabolic function—but if l...

Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....

Meryl Streep Rocks Out: <i>Ricki And The Flash</i> Could've Been Worse
Ricki and the Flash could’ve easily been yet another broad, obvious dysfunctional-family comedy. It’s right there in the setup: A middle-aged woman who years ago abandoned her buttoned-down Midwestern husband and kids to be a rock ’n’ roll star must now make amends, setting up a feel-good redemption...

Deadspin Up All Night: Break This Tired Old Routine
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin....

Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...

What If The Government Tried To Ban Porn?
So it looks like Drew is taking his annual weeklong vacation to Arby’s (“Arby’s: Where Shitting Our Product Out Is Somehow Worse Than Putting It In!”), which means I HAVE THE POWER. To answer questions. Questions that may or may not have caused my wife to frown in disgust when I read her the origina...

Christmas in August
If you have yet to bookmark Esquire Classics, whadda ya waiting for?...


Watch WWE's Salute To "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Tonight’s WWE Raw opened, as it did just a few weeks ago for Dusty Rhodes, with the full company of superstars lined up to recognize a 10-bell salute to “Rowdy” Roddy Piper—followed by a career montage that touches on pretty much everything you could remember about “Hot Rod.”...

Onside Punt Touchdown Is A True Gift From Canada
Canada’s been leaving us some crappy gifts lately, but here’s something from tonight’s Toronto-Hamilton game that might perk your ears up: an onside punt touchdown, unique to the Canadian game and something we strongly encourage Roger Goodell to unilaterally write into American Football’s rules....

Deadspin Up All Night: We Need A Raise
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don’t do it, Meek....

HitchBOT Was A Literal Pile Of Trash And Got What It Deserved
First things first. “HitchBOT,” for all practical purposes, was a garbage can with an iPhone in it. It could not walk or stand or fire lasers or open a can of beans. By what standard was this piece of useless shit a “robot” in the first place? The answer: a shabby standard. A Canadian one....

Master Of NBA Mimicry Unveils Perfect Kobe Bryant Impression
@BdotAdot5, the man who graced us with that balls-out homage to Russell Westbrook, has been hard at work pumping out more impressions of NBA players. His work as James Harden and Tim Duncan are highly recommended, but his latest entry may be his best:...

Man In Randall Cunningham Jersey Beats Shit Out Of Hitchhiking Robot
Prayers up for hitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot that aspired to see the entire country via the kindness of strangers and made it as far as Philadelphia before getting curbstomped. Thanks to surveillance footage, we know how hitchBOT ended up as a pile of limbs: a brief clip shows a man in what appear...
