Locker Page 735 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: I Deserve A Grammy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tag you're it! ...
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
March Madness Beer Brackets Are Stupid, So Here's The Winner Of Ours!
Have you guys filled out all your brackets? I'm a bit behind this year. I've taken care of "Vegan Pizza Toppings," "Aunts Who Have Disappointed Me," "Bands I've Never Heard Of," and "Dudes Named Gary," and today I hope to get to "NCAA Men's Basketball," but I doubt I'm going to find time to complete...
A 21st-Century Rip Van Winkle: What Changed In My Decade Behind Bars
When the New World was two centuries newer, Washington Irving set a fable, "Rip Van Winkle," in the oldest parts of New York State, where the original Dutch settlers' culture still lingered. Life was European then—just set in America. But progress stops for no man. The story's hero evades his naggin...
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....
This Guy's Terrible Mashups Of Hozier's "Take Me To Church" Are Great
Have you ever listened to a song and felt it was missing that special something? Maybe you thought the tune was excessively cheery, and needed more melancholy wailing from the likes of Hozier, the dour Irish dude whose droning "Take Me to Church" is, somewhat inexplicably, a huge pop hit....
What Happens When A 38-Year-Old Man Takes An AP History Test?
I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According ...
All Eyez On Me: Kendrick Lamar's Dense, Neurotic <i>To Pimp A Butterfly</i>
Kendrick Lamar doesn't make anything easy. Sunday night, he briefly broke the constantly breaking internet by issuing his new album, To Pimp a Butterfly, a full week early on iTunes and multiple streaming services; by Monday afternoon, iTunes had both frantically pulled it back down and just as ...
Gregg Popovich Calls Team "Pathetic" After Loss To Knicks
Last night, Gregg Popovich's San Antonio Spurs somehow managed to lose an overtime game to the Knicks, a team that regularly turns possessions into crimes against humanity. This wasn't one of those games where Pop sat all of his starters, either. This was a full-strength squad getting beasted by the...
Reggie Jackson Is Very Surprised To Learn He Had 20 Assists Tonight
Reggie Jackson really wanted out from Oklahoma City, and with Brandon Jennings sidelined with a ruptured Achilles, he's getting a chance to make a team his own for the first time. Tonight he had his best game as a Piston, scoring an efficient 23 points and dropping 20 dimes in a win over the Grizz...
Deadspin Up All Night: You're A Coyote
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Potatoes are probably underrated....
Don Lemon Is Great At His Job
Last night, Don Lemon took to his show, CNN Tonight, to host a discussion of, as he put it, The N-Word. It wasn't the first time he'd done so; nearly two years ago, he devoted an entire special to this topic. Famously, note cards were used, and the question of whether the words "cracker" and "nigger...
No Jokes, Period: A Polite Guy's Guide To A Girl's Time Of The Month
Sometimes the most basic piece of information is also the most helpful, and so, as we begin what I should warn you up front will be a long, intense treatise on this topic, let me tell you this: No two women's periods are alike. Our periods are as unique as we are, which, of course, makes understandi...
How To Cook Some Tasty (For Once!) Cabbage, For St. Patrick's Day
I love St. Patrick's Day. I know it's terribly unfashionable to admit so, but I love it all: I love the wearing of the green, I love the dogs in costume, I love the KISS ME I'M IRISH buttons. Give me a pair of glittered, bobbly shamrocks affixed to a headband and I'm one bonny Irish lass. The gree...
16 American Stouts, Ranked
Last Friday afternoon, I had the nerve to step away from my desk for as long as it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket and contemplate my sins, and Deadspin took advantage of those three unchaperoned minutes to damn near burn the place to the ground by running a piece with the title "Stouts Are The Be...
Damn, These Koalas Are Pretty Good Wrestlers
I would have never expected two koalas to be such adept sports animals, but these little buddies are good as hell at wrasslin'. ...
John Wall Hurtles Five Rows Deep To Save Loose Ball
John Wall is probably the fastest player in the NBA. Usually he uses this speed to terrify defenses and make opponents look like fools as he stops on a dime for a pull-up jumper, but tonight it was paying customers that saw him flying towards them. Good hustle John, but be careful out there. ...