Locker Page 822 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Texas News Station Tweets Photos Of Some Big Ol' Dicks [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uwdvii8dyz0hghcd57kh.png)
Texas News Station Tweets Photos Of Some Big Ol' Dicks [NSFW]
@TWCNewsAustin attempted to give its 32,000 Twitter followers a traffic update last night, something that the rush-hour commuters of Austin were surely eager for. Instead, those commuters got an eye full of dick....

Deadspin Up All Night: It's A Put-On
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Holy shitdick, it's time for hockey....
![Redditor Asks How Much Pumpkin To Put In His Cincinnati Chi--[Gunshot]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dka0ezc5hswz0gwx5bjw.png)
Redditor Asks How Much Pumpkin To Put In His Cincinnati Chi--[Gunshot]
Behold, the worst of all the things: a Redditor putting pumpkin in his diarrhea sludge! ...

Alba Berlin Beats Spurs On Buzzer-Beater
The Spurs' trip to Germany, which has already dealt with the issues of sex and genocide, finished up with a bang today as Alba Berlin stole an inbounds pass with 5.1 seconds remaining, and nailed a long floater to win it....

Chandler Parsons Is Probably Thrilled To Be Away From Dwight Howard
First, watch this video of Howard catching up with his old teammate before last night's preseason game....

Flying Dog Raging Bitch: An Offensive Beer In Three Different Ways
The inaugural Drunkspin Daily, a review of Stone Arrogant Bastard, addressed the problem of bad beer names. Too many of them rely on awful puns, weed references, or inside jokes that make it difficult for the consumer to remember which beer's which. Is the unfiltered wheat ale the one named after th...

Nancy Grace Is Still The Best At Twitter
Our pals over at automated-subdomain-generator-bot Gawker celebrated the incomparable Twitter brilliance of CNN's Nancy Grace awhile back, but last night's amazing #PervHouse tweet is as good a time as any to remind you: Nancy Grace is still out here in these streets (like #PervHouse guy!), twee...

Young Thug Enters The Void: The Confusing Joys Of Rich Gang's <em>Tha Tour</em>
Young Thug is a rapper from Atlanta who has never released an official full-length album and, at this rate, may not for a long time. His mixtapes—both alone and with collaborators—have been daring and unusual, bundles of promises that haven't quite come to bear. Until about two weeks ago, he had p...

Eagles Songs To Grow Limp To, Ranked
Last week I laid out my favorite Prince songs to fuck to. As seen below, this caught some Deadspin staffers by surprise. Probably because I generally write data stories here....

Danny Green Is Sorry About The Bad Caption On His Holocaust Selfie
Since the San Antonio Spurs are in Berlin to play an exhibition game against Alba Berlin, Danny Green used his free time to explore. He went to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin and took a photo, which is fine. It's not like he's smiling in it. But the caption—"You know I had to do it one time lol #H...

Did Everyone Know That Cole Aldrich Has A Gross Fake Tooth?
I did not know about this fake-tooth situation, and I find it a bit unsettling that he can remove it and pop it back in so quickly. It's even worse when you incorporate sound:...

University Of Alabama Relents, Daisha Simmons Will Play At Seton Hall
The saga of former Alabama basketball player Daisha Simmons looks like it is finally coming to an end. The University of Alabama announced Tuesday night that they had changed course and were supporting Simmons's waiver request to be able to play basketball at Seton Hall this upcoming season. If you'...

Deadspin Up All Night: Chicken Bone Chicken Bone
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Come back for more sports....

NBA Players Are Coming To Get Their Money Back In 2017
The NBA's bonkers new TV deal means there is going to be more money flowing into the league than ever before, and everyone is already thinking about 2017, when the players or owners can opt out of the current CBA and re-negotiate how all that revenue is going to be divided up. Based on comments from...

The Case Against Flushing At A Urinal
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering poop, sandwiches, rich people, Mitch, and more....

Does David Lynch Suck? A Pointless Discussion.
Showtime is bringing back Twin Peaks soon, much to the delight of your weird uncle and a lot of random folks on Twitter who think it's way cool that David Lynch does weather reports online. ...

Green Flash's Fall Seasonal Beer Is Absurd, Pointless, And Delicious
San Diego's Green Flash Brewing Company kinda goes their own way, which is a funny thing to say about a Southern California brewery built around stuffing hops into every crevice of every beer they produce—the most radical thing a West Coast beer company could do in 2014 is just settle down and mak...

Report: NBA Bans Sexy-Ass Songs From German Cheerleaders' Routine
German basketball club Alba Berlin will take on the San Antonio Spurs in an exhibition game Wednesday, but their cheerleaders will be working at half-speed. The NBA apparently nixed three songs from Alba Berlin's squad's routine, on account of the tracks being too sexy, according to German tabloid B...

