Look At This Doofus

There were a lot of different ways to own the libs this past week, from smashing inefficient coffee makers to stuffing your face with depressing slices of tomato-sauce-covered bits of drywall. But for the outraged true American looking to save a few bucks on his political statement, look no further than sticking a hastily penned piece of paper to the back of your head right before you go on national TV.

As first brought to our attention by Jordan Ramirez, and confirmed as real by checking out the saved broadcast video, here’s a replay assistant—or, more informally, a guy who holds a box—in Tampa during last Sunday’s Bucs-Jets game. He wrote “I WILL ALWAYS STAND”—presumably meaning during the national anthem, and not, like, literally everywhere all the time—in serial-killer handwriting and pinned it to his baseball cap.

I am offended at how stupid this guy looks.