Mickey Callaway And Jason Vargas Are Sorry That Their Actions Distracted From The Mets' General Suckiness

The Mets Metsed a lot yesterday, and in response to that Metsing, they prepared some apologies today. Sadly, they Metsed those, too.

After the team’s 5-3 loss to the Cubs on Sunday, manager Mickey Callaway and pitcher Jason Vargas were part of a heated baseball moment with Newsday reporter Tim Healey. Callaway tried to kick Healey out of the clubhouse and Vargas threatened to “knock you the fuck out, bro.” No one was actually knocked out, and today some light punishment came down: Vargas and Callaway were each fined $10,000, and the two had to talk about what they did. The pitcher chose to be very curt; the manager had to give it two attempts.

In less than half a minute, Vargas gave his statement and called the incident an “unfortunate distraction.” Sure, that’s one way to euphemize it.

Here’s an alternate angle, which is more amusing as it shows Vargas having to give his half-assed remarks in front of Healey, in a white collared shirt on the left holding a recorder.

Meanwhile, Callaway tried to convey that the argument was a “misunderstanding” and everything was fine now. He referenced the late Yankees manager Billy Martin, who once slugged a reporter. (That happened at a bar during halftime of a Western Basketball Association game, so the reference to the workplace hazards of baseball beat writing isn’t that precise. Additionally, invoking a successful Yankees manager, who was also a kook, isn’t the best play here.)

About an hour and a half later, after he received “feedback,” Callaway came back out to clarify that he had met with Healey and apologized to the reporter. He is sorry. Okay? Okay?!

Now that’s how you do it. Go get those Phillies tonight, boys! As you process this latest Metsing, one that will surely be topped within a month by some even more astonishing failure that the human mind cannot conceive of at this point in time, please keep in mind that the Wilpons should be forced to sell the team.