Here’s Yankees leadoff hitter Brett Gardner slapping a ball into the gap in left center, with two outs in the top of the ninth, with his team down a run after surrendering a 6-3 lead in the bottom of the eighth inning:

Yes, Houston’s Josh Reddick* does a fine job of cutting the ball off and getting it back to the infield, and a strong and heads-up and accurate relay back to first makes the out, and the Astros should be very proud of themselves for playing the right way or whatever.

Brett Gardner, what are you even doing. That is not how we run to second base. That is how we walk behind a sofa when we are pretending to walk down stairs, in order to make children snicker. Never do that again.