Money For Nothing

We are sad to say that Jonah Keri has discontinued his College Basketball Closer; we will miss him. But that's not all for the Closer; we'd like to hand the mic to the gang at Storming The Floor to fill in.

We learned the other day that South Carolina University will pay coach Dave Odom $320,000 after his retirement April 1 of this year. Odom secured two NIT championships in his six seasons with the Gamecocks, but never made it above .500 in the SEC. Given basketball's longstanding history of paying coaches (and sometimes players) to sit around and do nothing, what follows is a short list of other people who should be paid not to do things:

• Rick Majerus - $200,000 to not interview for the 'Cocks opening. • Bruce Pearl - $150,000 to not take his shirt off. • Pat Summit - She gets the same deal, but let's call it $400K. • Roy Williams - $100,000 to not say "daggum" in postgame interviews. • Storming the Floor - $500,000 to not write the NCAA Closer.

We're going to need that in cash, small bills - it's $10 draft night at McSwanky's.

Baby, I Could Go On Like This All Night. Baylor and Texas A&M rattled the backboards and kept the neighbors up late in the Big 12, going to five overtime periods before the Bears triumphed 116-110 on the road. Bear Curtis Jerrells played 53 minutes, scored 36 points on 20-24 shooting, and was assessed just two personal fouls. The small Baptist University located in Waco, TX is now 4-0 in the Big XII, keeping pace with Kansas.

Punk'd In Piscataway. With Joe Piscopo in attendance (What? Prove to me that he wasn't!), the Scarlet Knights led wire-to-wire, beating #18 Villanova 80-68 to further entangle the klausterfokk that is the Big East standings. Anthony Farmer and Mike Coburn scored 23 apiece to lead Rutgers, and team defense ruled the day, as the Jerseyites swatted eight inbound shots, forced nineteen turnovers, and held the Wildcats to 36% from the floor.

Mid-Major Spotlight. St. Joseph's 81 - UMass 77. I've always had trouble calling the A-10 a Mid, but this was definitely the best game that casual sports fans will ignore, so it counts. Peter Boyle Phil Martelli's team is quietly building a tournament profile at 3-1 in league play, and have handed the 13-5 Minutemen their only two conference losses. Pat Calathes sealed the deal for St. Joe's with clutch free throws to cap a 16 and 10 night, while teammate Ahmad Nivins also doubled with 20 and 12.

Tonight's Big Games

#19 Dayton at #22 Xavier. The Musketeers top the A-10 at 3-1, with Dayton just a ½ game back at 2-1. The Flyers recently ended a thirteen-game win streak with a home loss to UMass, and rely heavily on Brian Roberts to shoulder the scoring load. Xavier has an ungodly six players averaging double figures, and look to be stacked, which raises the pointed question "How did they lose to Temple?"

Eric Angevine writes about college hoops at Storming the Floor, and is a regular contributor to Chicago Sports Weekly. He can be reached at [email protected].