My Top Songs On Spotify This Year Are A Clear Cry For Help

I don’t understand how people find the time to listen to podcasts. Like a good company guy, I listen to the Deadcast, but I tried one episode of This American Life and stopped it after 20 minutes. Ira Glass’s voice was fine, but when I’m working, I can’t listen to audio that requires attention. This is all a flimsy excuse to justify my most-played songs on Spotify this year.

I will frequently listen to a song on repeat while I write, just for background noise. It doesn’t even have to be a good song. I knew this habit would juke the stats when I used Spotify’s personalized Year in Music widget, but I’d assumed my top songs would all be Drake. That assumption was only partially correct. No. 3:

“Hotline Bling” was a huge, mindless song that was easy to keep on repeat. That makes sense. But everything goes downhill at No. 2:

I swear to you, I don’t even remember listening to “Roundball Rock” 46 times. I’m also positive no one else has my Spotify login. I don’t think I was drunk, and I rarely use Spotify outside of work. There’s no explanation for this, and it’s frankly frightening. My top song is equally as puzzling:

Yes, my most-played song in 2015 was the theme song to season two of True Detective. I listened to this fucking song 60 times. I’m sick. I have a problem.

Photo: AP

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