I’d rather get in a ring with Greg Hardy than play pickup with D.K. Metcalf

Albert Pujols and D.K. Metcalf aren’t in the same universe athletically at this point in their lives. Yet, they shared a basketball court Friday as part of the NBA Celebrity Game, and I gotta say, it is startling that one of the greatest baseball players of this century — coming off a 24-home run swan song season — already looks like a beer league slugger.

Describing that sequence as Metcalf and Pujols trading buckets is absurd. One guy did a chin-up on the rim, and the other makes Winnie- look like an Olympian. Aside from seeing how quickly Pujols let himself go, the highlight of the evening was Metcalf.

I know he just blocked a nameless henchmen celebrity (probably one Deadspin will be interviewing very soon), but holy hell are NFL wide receivers talented. If you couldn’t infer from the highlights above, Metcalf was the game’s MVP. I mean, he doesn’t even take a step in the paint on this flush.

The Seattle Seahawk standout is among the NFL’s best athletes at any position, and I feel bad for the celebs who showed up thinking they’d be able to showcase their set shot. Though The Miz did sink a half-court heave that would’ve forced OT had it not come milliseconds after the final buzzer.

Regardless, congrats to Metcalf, and the schlubs who played against him for not getting baptized. Though, there was one former NFL player who did take it on the chin in a crossover sport Friday night.

Remember former defensive lineman Greg Hardy who hopped to MMA after off-the-field issues forced him out of the NFL? Well, he returned to combat sports after a lengthy hiatus for (I’m assuming) a payday, and got that plus some bonus brain damage.

“ I fuckin’ hate pikeys.” But wait, there’s more.

Well, I don’t feel so bad for Pujols now (though I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about Hardy). It could’ve been worse — because getting knocked out by multiverse Jay Glazer is 150,000 times worse.