NFL Update 1: Blackout!

Let's get you folks up to speed, our friends in Detroit who have taken a noble stand by refusing to pay big bucks to watch a horrible football team. Unfortunately, this little bit of protest has forced them to deal with the dreaded NFL blackout. We're here for you, D-Town. Washington 3, Detroit 10. Maybe all of those fans just made them nervous? Orlovsky hasn't stepped out of the end zone yet. Kansas City 7, NY Jets 7. Cheater Brett Favre starts off by leading the Jets on a dominant 68-yard drive. Favre then does his normal thing of making an awful decision and throwing an interception, leading to a Chiefs touchdown. Atlanta 7, Philadelphia 0. Matt Ryan continues his Rookie of the Year campaign with a 55-yard TD pass to Roddy White. San Diego 3, New Orleans 16. The Saints are using Deuce as much as physically possible, most likely because they know they'll be without his services for the next month or so as he pees out all of those water pills. Brees leads the Saints down for a TD, but Taylor Mehlhaff finds out the goal posts in London might not be regulation size as he misses the extra point. St. Louis 10, New England 7. BenJarvus Green-Ellis, the Pats 18th-string running back, gets into the end zone almost immediately. Got to love that Laurence Maroney fantasy pick. Meanwhile, Donnie Avery has over 100 yards receiving by the start of the 2nd quarter. Buffalo 3, Miami 7. Pennington caps off a masterful opening drive with a 2-yard dink pass to Anthony Fasano. Trent Edwards follows up with a drive of his own, but they stall in the red zone for a field goal. Is anyone playing defense in this game? Tampa Bay 6, Dallas 3. America's team is starting to resemble America's economy; Cowboys have 70 total yards thus far. Arizona 10, Carolina 0. Anquan Boldin comes back in a big way with a 30-yard end around, leading to a field goal. He later catches a TD pass, and every fantasy owner who refused to put him in thinking he'd start off slow is punching themselves in the face, Ashley Todd-style. Oakland 0, Baltimore 9. The Raiders start off predictably enough by going 3-and-out in their first series. JaMarcus Russell follows that up by refusing to throw the ball away and getting a safety instead. Baltimore then score on their own with a Willis McGahee TD.