No, We Will Not Pay You In $1 Bills

One of our favorite underreported stories is just how bad athletes are with their finances. We're reminded of a quote from former Dolphins fullback Ron Konrad, now a financial adviser in Florida. Konrad called a fellow young player over who had started talking about some of his "investments" and asked him what his big investment was. "I bought two Bentleys," the player said. "Best investment I ever made." Konrad, amused, asked him what a was a better investment: a car or a home? "The car, of course!" he said. "You can always buy a new house, but you can drive the car from house to house." (Confession: We wrote this story about Konrad in a former life.)

The next former athlete trying to peddle his financial advice ways is (get ready) former Kings forward Lawrence Funderburke, who just wrote an inexplicably named book to help players with their finances, Hook Me Up, Playa. Four things are great about this:

1. The book has a jacket blurb from Bill Walton that calls it, "a timely masterpiece" and "epic." 2. Sergei Federov says: "Awesome. I loved it and highly recommend it!" We guarantee you Federov has never read the book. 3. Funderburke once played for Bob Knight at Indiana, where they clashed and he ultimately transferred. Knight once said Funderburke was "a pest" and a "terrible influence." 4. Without a doubt, Funderburke was the worst NBA Live 2003 player of all-time.

Sorry. We're still giggling about the "drive the car to the house" story.

Former King Writes Book [Sacramento Bee] On The Financial Gridiron [Registered Rep.]