Okay Goddamnit, What The Hell Is This Robot Saying?

This devil magic is tearing the entire GMG newsroom apart, and now you have to deal with it too. What is this robot saying??? I hear “Laurel” and I can’t even hear the faintest shred of “Yanny,” so please tell me what you hear.

It seems to have something to do with frequencies or bass levels or some shit but maybe I’m just a broken-ear-having clown because I can only hear Laurel. Tim Burke purports to have separated the two words somehow, though I can’t hear Yanny at all.

Help us: What color is this goddamn dress???

Update (5/16, 2:32 p.m. E.T.): Wired has the full story on where this heinous clip came from, and the Times that finally showed me Yanny. I guess my ears really are just fucked up and old.