Pirates Aren't Actually Chasing Kyle Schwarber, They’re Just Feeding Fans Crap

The Pittsburgh Pirates are reportedly in on free agency slugger Kyle Schwarber.

According to reports, the Pirates offered Josh Naylor a deal worth at least $80 million prior to his five-year extension worth $92 million with the Seattle Mariners.

Perhaps the Pirates are finally getting serious. Seems unlikely, as the “look, we’re trying!” approach will only fool fans for so long.

Schwarber headlines this free agency class after a dominant stint with the Philadelphia Phillies, where he could potentially return this offseason. Pittsburgh’s offense could certainly use him, as they ranked near the worst in almost every single category last season.

But this news just feels… too convenient.

Reports of Pittsburgh’s interest in Schwarber comes on the heels of superstar ace Paul Skenes having eyes for New York. According to NJ.com, the Pirates are aware that Skenes would like to pitch for the Yankees and he’s made that proclamation to anonymous teammates as well.

So what better way to convince the 23-year-old phenom to stay in Pittsburgh than Schwarber?

In his first two seasons in the majors, Skenes has won National League Rookie of the Year and National League Cy Young. The Pirates finished dead last in the NL Central both seasons.

It’s clear he’s not the issue.

Pittsburgh’s payroll is comedically low. In 2026, the Pirates are currently scheduled to have baseball’s 26th payroll. There are currently only 30 teams.

While Pirates owner Bob Nutting proclaims to have a plan that keeps Skenes in Pittsburgh longterm, he’d likely have to commit his entire $31 million payroll to one player. And that’s probably not even where extension talks would need to begin.

Adding a big power bat like Schwarber would certainly help the Pirates win more games. However, he isn’t a perfect fix. There isn’t a perfect fix in baseball, where nine players are needed to consistently contribute in the batting lineup in order to build a contender that could take down the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The Pirates and the Dodgers aren’t even in the same stratosphere. It’s probably part of the reason why Skenes isn’t shy about wanting to play for the Yankees, who have no issue shelling out money and contending for the MLB Playoffs each season.

During ESPN’s “College Gameday” broadcast from Pittsburgh ahead of Pitt’s matchup with Notre Dame, Pat McAfee giggled as loyal fans chanted “sell the team!” when the Pirates were mentioned. That’s the state of professional baseball in Pittsburgh right now, and it’s pretty embarrassing.

At minimum, Nutting could serve his starving fanbase a platter of crap – that he tried to sign the biggest free agent to keep Skenes happy and contend.

But nothing about this report makes sense. If the Pirates somehow managed to pony up cash for Schwarber, how would they keep Skenes?

This is lining up for Schwarber to sign elsewhere just so Nutting could say that he tried.