Ratfuck Scores Hat Trick

Brad Marchand, Bruins forward and the definition of the word “pest,” is now tied with Sidney Crosby for second in the NHL in points (74) and first in goals (35).

Marchand showed off his actual skill with a hat trick Monday against the Canucks in which all three goals came in the third period. His first was a solid backhand from the left circle; the third was an empty netter from mid-ice. The second goal, however, was the real feat. Marchand cut across the mouth of the goal, and through the Canucks’ shabby defense, carrying an opponent as he flicked in the puck at the last second. He looked like this right before he scored:

Although Marchand will always be known as an asshole first— justifiably so—he does have legitimate skill, and this has been a career season for him. He hasn’t lost his ability to prick and prod, however: