Sacramento Kings Solve All Their Woes With Dollar Beer Night

The Sacramento NBA team will be appearing on ESPN (national television!) for the first time in two years next week, and they want to make their return extra-super special. How to do that? A packed house of stone cold drunks.

The Kings performance this season has been fine, but their attendance to date has been, shall we say, sub-par. The last thing they want is for ESPN viewers to see thousands of empty seats during such a monumental game. (What would Joe M. of Middlebury, CT, think if he saw that?) So they're breaking out the one sure-fire standby that never fails to put butts in the seats. One-dollar beers for all the fans 21-and-over in attendance. And lo, bankruptcy was averted. There is no possible downside to this.

The promotion only lasts until halftime though, so hit the concession stands early and often. I want to see happy faces when those ESPN cameras catch you making an awkward pass at your friend's wife during the t-shirt launches.

Kings-Wizards Game on Dec. 16 Will Feature Dollar Beer Night at ARCO Arena [NBA.com] The Sacramento Kings Have a Foolproof Way of Putting (Drunk) Asses in the Seats [The Last Angry Fan] Kings-Wizards game to feature 'Dollar Beer Night' at ARCO [Ball Don't Lie] [Photo via]