Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League

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So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to advance to the semifinal and keep their delusional 2015 Champions League dream alive. They did not. But!


They had a pretty goal. Like, really pretty. On 57 minutes, United winger Antonio Valencia skipped past three Bayern players, then played a cross in the box that missed everyone, and bounced out beyond the 18. That's when left back Patrice Evra came from out of the screen and banged a shot on a rope across goal into the top corner. United were going to fucking do it.

Then Bayern went down the field after kicking off and scored in the 59th minute on a Mario Mandzukic header. Then Thomas Müller scored nine minutes after that to make it 2-1, and Arjen Robben deaded them in the 76th.

And that was that.