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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly "Turn Ahead The Clock" Night Uniforms

Illustration for article titled Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly Turn Ahead The Clock Night Uniforms
Photo: Abbie Parr (Getty Images)

Saturday night the Mariners celebrated the 20th anniversary of “Turn Ahead The Clock” night in a home game against the Kansas City Royals. The original “Turn Ahead The Clock” night was most memorable for Ken Griffey Jr. wearing his hat backwards, but it was also a grim glimpse into a dismal future where MLB teams, uhh, can’t afford to buy fabric for sleeves? At any rate, the Mariners resurrected those awful numbers Saturday night, and, yep, they’re just the ugliest damn baseball uniforms this side of whatever nightmare togs the Arizona Diamondbacks are sporting today.

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At least there was a DeLorean, which is about as un-futuristic as motor vehicles can get in 2018, but is also cool as shit:

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Also, this was fun:

I want you to look at these schlubs in their muscle shirts and brushed metal helmets and tell me they don’t look like a bunch of greasy bikers who’ve invaded a softball game:

Illustration for article titled Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly Turn Ahead The Clock Night Uniforms
Photo: John Froschauer (AP)
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Illustration for article titled Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly Turn Ahead The Clock Night Uniforms
Photo: John Froschauer (AP)
Illustration for article titled Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly Turn Ahead The Clock Night Uniforms
Photo: John Froschauer (AP)
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Illustration for article titled Seattle Mariners Celebrate Bleak, Dystopian Future With Ghastly Turn Ahead The Clock Night Uniforms
Photo: Abbie Parr (Getty Images)

I have no trouble believing the future will be awful, but surely mankind can unite behind the goal of never allowing baseball uniforms to devolve to these RoboCop-extra-looking disasters.

Staff Writer, Deadspin

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