Soccer Page 243 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crystal Palace's Training Ground Kitchen Given Zero-Star Food Hygiene Rating After Mouse Infestation
The United Kingdom’s Food Standard Agency revealed that a training facility kitchen belonging to Premier League club Crystal Palace received a food hygiene rating of 0 out of a possible five. The agency’s website notes that the score means that “urgent improvement is required” in areas like food han...
Ronaldo's Sisters Should Probably Chill Out
After Real Madrid’s Luka Modric won the Ballon d’Or yesterday, becoming the first person not named Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo to earn the award since 2007, Ronaldo’s sisters were extremely salty about it....
Heroic Doggy Keeper Rescues Blundering Human Keeper With Great, Adorable Save
Juventud Unida beat Defensores de Belgrano 3-0 on Sunday in Argentina’s third division. The home team would’ve won by even more after a goalkeeping boner gifted Juventud the ball and an open net, but for the perfectly timed intervention by the most adorable and effective idiot on the field we’ve yet...
David Moyes Is The Most Interested Man In The World
Southampton fired Mark Hughes today after finally realizing what was evident to just about everyone the day he got the manager position there, which is that things were almost certainly not going to work out. And like your unemployed cousin who desperately needs a job so he can finally move out of y...
Tottenham Fan Arrested For Throwing Banana At Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang<em></em>
London police arrested seven people following Sunday’s wild North London Derby, which Arsenal won with a 4-2 beatdown on Tottenham. One of the seven was a Tottenham fan who threw a banana on the field at Gabonese forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang after Aubameyang scored a penalty in the tenth minute...
Jurgen Klopp Invades Pitch And Leaps Into Keeper's Arms After Late Liverpool Winner
Jurgen Klopp’s emotional sideline outbursts have almost become commonplace since he became Liverpool’s manager in 2015. But the German displayed a new level of excitement during his team’s 1-0 win over Everton. Divock Origi took advantage of a goalkeeping mistake from Jordan Pickford, and broke the ...
Tortured Hiring Process For USMNT Coaching Job Finally Ends The Way Everyone Knew It Would
U.S. Soccer finally made it official: Gregg Berhalter, who has spent the past five years coaching the Columbus Crew, will be the new coach of the U.S. men’s national team, as has been evident for months. Before falling in line behind a coach, who, by nearly all accounts, is respected and capable, le...
Afghanistan Football Federation Members Accused Of Sexually Abusing Women's National Team Players
The Guardian has a report today in which multiple figures involved in Afghanistan women’s soccer exposed what they say is a culture of abuse of the female national team’s players on the part of prominent male figures in the Afghanistan Football Federation. One former captain of the women’s team and ...
USL And Former MLS Owner Dies In Small Plane Crash
Wayne Estopinal, former minority owner of MLS’s Orlando City SC and founding owner of the USL’s Louisville City FC, was one of three people who died in a small plane crash in Southern Indiana. He was 63 years old....
The Copa Libertadores Scandal Is The Latest Battle In The Long War For Soccer's Soul
The 2018 Copa Libertadores final could’ve been the greatest one in the competition’s storied history. In the world’s most popular sport, the world’s most fanatically soccer-crazed continent’s most coveted title was to be contested by the two clubs that make up the world’s most passionate rivalry. Bu...
Here Is An Utterly Maddening Sequence Of Soccer Errors
Unlike most lowlight-reel soccer fuckups, this comedy of errors actually happened in a meaningful game played between two good-ish teams. Standard Liege led Sevilla by a goal in their Thursday Europa League meetup, and they were presented with a perfect opportunity to slam the door shut on the Spani...
Shithead Soccer Fan Appears To Peg MLS Player In The Face With Trash
In the 22nd minute of the second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference Championship, underway Thursday night in New Jersey, a Red Bulls fan in the front row appeared to peg an item—possibly trash or a cup—into the face of Atlanta United midfielder Miguel Almirón:...
Literal Baby-Name Police Won't Let French Couple Name Their Kid "Griezmann Mbappé"
International tournament success in sports famously breeds joy, babies, and joyfully birthed babies named after the sporting heroes who achieved said success. It’s no surprise, then, that one French couple wanted to name their newborn son after two stars from France’s World Cup victory this summer. ...
Korean Soccer Player Expected To Fully Recover After Breaking His Neck On The Field
Three minutes into a playoff game in South Korea’s second-tier soccer league yesterday, Gwangju FC player Lee Seung-mo leapt into the air to challenge for a header, fell to the ground awkwardly, landed on his neck, and immediately lost consciousness. But thanks to some good fortune and the quick res...
The Next USMNT Coach Will Be Gregg Berhalter, Apparently
It is looking increasingly likely that Gregg Berhalter, former national team player and current Columbus Crew coach, will be named the next coach of the USMNT. It has looked increasingly likely for the better part of a year, but it appears to be actually happening now, so everyone try to look surpri...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
Ousmane Dembélé Has The Sickest Pump-Fake In The World
For Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona’s match against Atlético Madrid this weekend had to feel familiar. He started the game on the bench for the fourth La Liga match running, a reflection of the French wunderkind’s continued struggles to ingratiate himself with his teammates and manager thanks his now wel...
Irish Soccer Team Caught Faking The Death Of Their Own Player To Get Out Of A Game
Ballybrack FC—a real team, I swear—were strongly condemned by the Leinster Senior League—again, a real league of lower-tier Irish soccer clubs—after they committed the grave sin of lying about the death of one of their players, possibly in order to get out of a game this weekend....
Bomb Explodes Near Ajax Fans Ahead Of UCL Match In Greece <em></em>
Ajax fans and AEK Athens fans clashed in Greece’s Olympic stadium ahead of the clubs’ Champions League match on Tuesday. According to the Independent, Greek fans “reportedly threw flares and a missile or petrol bomb,” which exploded near the supporters of the Dutch club....
Diego Maradona Struggles To Complete A Word In Post-Match Interview
Diego Maradona, historically great soccer player and current malfunctioning animated museum exhibit, appears to be in the midst of a simultaneously good and bad experience in Mexico. The good: he is the manager of second-division club Dorados, and after taking charge of the struggling group in Septe...