Soccer Page 254 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester City's Title Run Ends With A Wet Fart
As the determiner of an ultimate champion, the soccer system is great. The table never lies and every match matters and you always know that, come the end of the long, grueling season, the team that stacked up the most points will hoist the trophy above their heads in front of their adoring fans wit...
Man City Win Premier League After West Brom Beat Man United
Manchester United came back from two goals down last weekend to prevent Man City from winning the Premier League. It was a memorable 3-2 win in the Manchester derby; it wouldn’t stop City from winning the league, but it was at least a nice moment....
Shocking Video Reveals That Ronaldo And Messi Have Different Personalities
Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi. It’s an argument as old as time itself, with diehard fans of these two all-time greats throwing out stats and facts in support of their preferred candidate to make their case for superiority—Messianiacs pointing to his better scoring record, his better passing, hi...
Here Are The Champions League Semifinal Matchups
After a thrilling Champions League quarterfinal round that saw the threat of multiple enormous comebacks and one completed one, we now know who will play whom in the semifinal round for the right to compete for the European Cup in Kiev. The draw looks incredibly enticing....
Stadium Steward Has Organ Removed After Wayward Free Kick Murders His Spleen
In a Serie A match on Sunday, Inter winger Antonio Candreva tried to send the ball screaming into the upper corner of Torino’s goal. Instead, he sent a stadium steward screaming into the hospital when his errant shot flew over the crossbar, smashed into the unsuspecting steward’s back, and ruptured ...
Portugal Forward Jéssica Silva Is The Queen Of Filthy Nutmegs
Meet Jéssica Silva, forward for Spanish club Levante and the Portuguese national team. Last week, she made an appearance for Portugal in a Euro 2021 qualifier against Belgium. This gave her an opportunity to do what she does best, which is to absolutely ruin defenders with beautifully disgusting nut...
Juventus Almost Pull Off Amazing Comeback Before Real Madrid Rip Out Their Hearts
Everything was going perfectly for Juventus. After losing the first leg of their Champions League tie against Real Madrid at home last week, today they went to Madrid and flipped the script, somehow scoring three unanswered goals an hour into the match. Just seconds away from dragging the match into...
Chivas And New York Red Bulls Fans Get Into A Big Ole Brawl
The New York Red Bulls hosted Chivas Tuesday in some hot and heavy CONCACAF Champions League action, and it wound up being a shitty night for their fans. Not only did NYRB draw 0-0 and lose the two-leg series on aggregate, a bunch of fans also got into a big brawl with Chivas supporters. There were ...
Harry Kane's Baby Daughter Officially Safe After Premier League Gifts Her Dad A Free Goal
All the best strikers are maniacally obsessed with scoring goals. Everyone knows about this single-mindedness, and yet it can still be a little jarring to hear just how deep this drive goes. Like this weekend, when Harry Kane made his case that he’d gotten a touch on a goal that had been credited to...
Here's What Roma's Barcelona-Beating Goal Sounded Like On Italian TV
An incredible comeback from Roma took down Barcelona today in the Champions League quarterfinals, as the Serie A side scored thrice at home in the second leg to beat Lionel Messi and friends on the away goals rule, 4-4....
Liverpool Better Go Win The Champions League Now
Manchester City and Liverpool are incapable of playing a boring match against each other. The presumptive Premier League champs have met Jürgen Klopp’s squad four times this year, and each time, it’s been wildly entertaining. City kicked things off with a five-goal blowout after Sadio Mané picked up...
Roma Shock The World, Stage Massive Comeback To Beat Barcelona
If you care about soccer at all, you were definitely glued to your TV today, watching to see if a certain team could do the impossible by overturning a huge first-leg deficit. And while one team did do just that by pulling off an enormous comeback, it was almost certainly not the team you expected....
Manchester City Hit A Few Bumps On The Road To Immortality
By any conceivable criteria, this year’s Manchester City bunch should go down as one of the greatest Premier League teams of all time. In the face of the deepest, richest, savviest array of clubs from top to bottom in league history, as one member of a staggeringly competitive cadre of six superteam...
Edinson Cavani Misses Can't-Miss Goal, Proving That He's Still Edinson Cavani
If you missed the old Cavani, miss easy goals Cavani, “he always chokes” Cavani, “he should be sold” Cavani, then you’re in for a treat: In today’s Ligue 1 match between PSG and Saint-Étienne, Cavani reminded us all that somewhere deep down inside him, behind the steady stream of goals and renewed c...
Aaron Ramsey's Side-Foot Volley <i>Golazo</i> Is Cool As Hell
Arsenal blew the doors off a geriatric CSKA Moscow team in the Europa League today, winning by a score of 4-1. The best goal of the bunch was this beautiful little flick that came off the side of Aaron Ramsey’s foot:...
Manchester City Arrives For Champions League Match In Post-Apocalyptic Liverpool
Manchester City had a crazy bus ride into Anfield today ahead of their Champions League match against Liverpool, as the soon-to-be English champions were greeted by passionate home supporters who happened also to be armed with projectiles and flares. Alternately, if you don’t know the context, the ...
Miguel Herrera Says Toronto Cops Assaulted His Players At Halftime<em></em>
Club América coach Miguel Herrera claimed that Toronto police assaulted his players—goalkeeper Agustín Marchesín and defender Bruno Valdez, along with assistant coach Giber Becerra—during halftime of the team’s 3-1 CONCACAF Champions League semifinal loss to Toronto FC tonight. Toronto coach Greg Va...
Cristiano Ronaldo Executes Juventus With Gorgeous, Leaping Bicycle Kick Goal
In his long and illustrious career, Cristiano Ronaldo has won a billion trophies and scored a zillion goals. Today, just now, at the ripe old age of 33, he has scored one of his most sensational, athletic, instantly iconic goals in Real Madrid’s Champions League match against Juventus:...
Feast Your Eyes On These Photos Of Enraged Chelsea Fans Flipping Off Dele Alli
Dele Alli scored twice in Tottenham’s 3-1 victory over Chelsea this weekend. His first goal was a beaut, but as Chris Applegate noted on Twitter, even more gorgeous than the goal itself were the photos, featuring the home Chelsea crowd’s reaction. So many scowls. So many impolite hand gestures. Trul...
Messi Came Off The Bench To Stroll Around, Keep Barcelona Undefeated
Lionel Messi came on as a substitute in the 58th minute of Barcelona’s match against Sevilla on Saturday with express orders not to run around too much. He obeyed, meandered around for the better part of his 30-minute cameo, before picking his moment and bursting forth from out of nowhere to score t...