Soccer Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Thierry Henry Moves Into Heath Ledger’s Old Manor
After months of presumably crashing on friend's sofas and living an Alan Partridge like existence in travel lodges, the good news is that Thierry Henry has finally splashed out on a snazzy New York flat....

Controversial World Cup Referee Busted With Whole Lotta Heroin At Airport
Byron Moreno, a former FIFA referee was arrested at JFK airport with over six KG of heroin. According to Google Translate translation, Moreno was controversial, "bleeped in Korea," and hid "the drug in her underwear." Got it. [CRE Satelital]...

David Beckham And Gordon Ramsey "Caught In Gunfight"
Sweary TV chef Gordon Ramsay has revealed he and bessie mate David Beckham had to cut short a recent bonding/camping trip to the outskirts of LA after waking up to a rousing chorus of *pew pew pew*...

Has Jose Mourinho Got A Spot Of OCD Happening?
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Antonio Valencia Has One More Broken Leg Than Usual
During the Red Devils recent match against Glasgow Rangers, winger Antonio Valencia was challenged by the aptly named Kirk Broadfoot and ended up suffering a compound fracture in his leg. He will miss the remainder of the season. [Goal.com, H/T JRG]...

Alessandro Del Piero Ups The Stakes On Thomas Müller With A Nice One
Two great goals posted on the same day—how about that! Following Müller's outside of the boot corker, above is old man Del Piero proving that age hast not withered thine legs*....

Thomas Müller Is Your Early Goal Of The Year Frontrunner
Thomas Müller's absolutely nasty goal against AS Roma yesterday is one of those goals that is going to be replayed a lot (at least by Thomas Müller and his family). Come for the great goal, stay for the Teutonic hugs! [@grantwahl]...

10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...

Who Is Pretending To Be The Togo Soccer Team?
Last week, Bahrain hosted Togo in a friendly, beating them 3-0. Then Togo's soccer federation said they hadn't actually sent their national team, and they didn't know who Bahrain had just played....

The Champions League Is Harder To Win Than The World Cup, Lies Jose Mourinho
As reported on the popular Spanish website, Sport.es, Jose Mourinho's mouth has once again kicked into action before the logic part of his brain, as he muttered these words:...

Larissa Riquelme’s Naked Body Gets The 3-D Treatment (NSFW)
Fast forward in your mind's eye to the next World Cup and what do you see? Silly new match balls? Droning horns? Stadiums full of girls with mobile phones placed between their knockers hoping to make a fortune?...

Robert Green Will Never Be Allowed To Forget His World Cup Gaffe
The poor bastard made one little mistake in his Premier League match that was slightly similar to his cock-up against the US, and immediately, everywhere, it's "Robert Green will never recover from the World Cup."...

10 Footballers Who Wouldn’t Visit Prostitutes (NSFW-ish)
If you'd asked The Spoiler a month or so ago to name one footballer who definitely wouldn't reach into his pocket to score some cheap sex with a proz, the name Peter Crouch would have been at the top of the list....

Moroccan Keeper Jumps The Gun In Penalty Shootout
Hilarious scenes during a penalty shootout between Moroccan top division teams Maghreb Fez and FAR Rabat, in the brilliantly named ‘Throne Cup'....

Carlos Tevez "Doesn’t Have The Balls" To Quit Argentina
Carlos Tevez has declared he is considering winding down his career—at the ripe old age of 26....

Zidane’s Son Enzo Could Reject France For Spain
French legend Zinedine Zidane has told press his son Enzo—full name Enzo Alan Zidane Fernandez—may opt for Spain when the time comes to choose his international career path....

Skittish Soccer Analyst Completes Self-Psych-Out
Retired German soccer player Mehmet Scholl has seen Sky Sports' Jessica Kastrop getting pegged with an errant ball one too many times it seems. In related news, "Scholl" is German for "the yips." [SI's Hot Clicks]...

Scotland Heroically Beat Giant Of Europe
Scotland needed a goal in the 7th minute of stoppage time to beat Liechtenstein, which has 20,000 fewer people in their entire country than were at Hampden Park for the match....

Finding A Silver Lining In Wayne Rooney’s Stupidity (NSFW)
If, like many of us, you met news of Wayne Rooney putting his gnarled willy inside some attention-seeking tart with a world-weary sigh, today probably hasn't been the most exciting day for football news (although it's made international week slightly more interesting.)...

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...