Spend Tonight With The Cansecos

Anyone who might be hanging around the Pittsburgh area over the next few days is encouraged to hit the party to end all parties: The All-Star Ball With The Cansecos!

That's right, for a mere $20 of your hard-earned cash — though ladies get in free from 9-10:30 p.m. — you can spend your All-Star's Eve with "Jessica Canseco, Jose Canseco, two Playboy Playmates and the Pennsylvania bikini team." (That team is rife with roiders, by the way.)

You can get tickets at 412-261-1802. Beware, however: Proper dress is required. That is to say, you can't wear this.

All-Star Ball With The Cansecos [MatrixPGH] Jose Canseco Is Scaring The Children [Deadspin]