Stay Tuned For Tomorrow's Texas Rangers MLB Finance Party

No, it won't require nearly as much whipped cream as Josh Hamilton's festive night, but it will be fascinating to those of you who enjoy armchair accounting and watching us be nuisances.

And, besides — Craggs is about to have a meltdown. Poor boy. So it's your duty to come take a look at his handiwork tomorrow, so the inevitable brain-bleeding will all be worthwhile.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin and its many personalities.