Strong American Hockey Teens Defeat Weak Russian Ice Boys

The U.S. National Junior hockey team took on Russia in a preliminary round game at the 2017 International Ice Hockey Federation World Junior Championship today, and I am happy to report that our skilled and cunning young men sent the shiftless Russians home with a loss.

The Americans won the game 3-2 and were carried by a strong performance from goalie Tyler Parsons, who made 10 of his 25 saves in the third period, two of which were sprawling, heroic efforts.

Team USA was awarded a penalty shot after the no-account Russians illegally dislodged their own net with under two minutes to play, but Tage Thompson failed to score the penalty. This was no doubt an act of mercy.