1 Page 227 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mario Balotelli Takes Break From Doing Good Mario Things, Does Bad Mario Thing
Mario Balotelli is still thriving out in France, scoring eight goals in nine league appearances for out-of-nowhere Ligue 1 leaders Nice, so things aren’t all bad. What is maybe a little bad is that yesterday, for the first time this season, Good Mario gave way to Bad Mario, when the Italian striker ...
The Year In Ted Cruz Humiliations
There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years....
The Worst Tweets Of 2016
Everyone should be ashamed of themselves....
Is This What We Want?
Ultimately, we are the ones who decide what we will demand from the people we put into power. Which is why we will always get what we deserve. ...
Lakers Decide Not To Stay At Trump-Branded Hotel Over "Security Concerns"
According to a report from the Los Angeles Times, the Los Angeles Lakers will not be staying at the Trump SoHo hotel this week. They were initially scheduled to stay there in advance of their game in Brooklyn against the Nets on Wednesday, but they decided not to because of “security concerns.” Supp...
Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...
My Combo Of The Year
It’s time to announce my combo of the year. ...
Liberals Cheering On The Electoral College Dope Who Won't Vote For Donald Trump Is Really Frightening
Last night, the New York Times published an editorial written by Christopher Surpun, a “Republican presidential elector” from Texas who says that he will not cast his electoral college vote for Donald Trump, despite Trump winning the state by nine points. Surpun doesn’t say who he will vote for, but...
Mark Helfrich Fired By Oregon, Which Makes Sense
As a rule, Oregon doesn’t fire coaches. The last time they fired one was in 1976, instead choosing to promote from within. That’s a perfectly noble system to adhere to if you’re the sort of school that’s accepted lower expectations or manages to find a flawless in-house successor for every coach and...
Report: Kenya's Olympic Team Was Torpedoed By Their Own Comically Corrupt Officials<em></em>
Kenya finished the Rio Olympics with 13 track and field medals, second only to the United States who finished with 32. That’s a gulf, not a gap, but after reading details about how thoroughly the team was sold up the river by their own Olympic committee, I’m impressed that Kenya managed that many....
Colorado Player Arrested For Drug Possession After Allegedly Being Knocked Out By Teammate
In the hours following Colorado’s Pac-12 South title-clinching victory against Utah, two Buffalo players got a little out of hand. ...
Who Lost The White House?
After a long, ugly, and immensely stupid presidential election, a modest plurality of a little more than half of voting-age Americans voted to make a deeply loathed avatar of the despised political establishment the next President of the United States. Unfortunately, they were improperly geographica...
The Hard Work Is About To Get Harder
Zucotti Park is beautiful in the holiday season. Delicate strings of white lights coat the trees where, just a few years ago, thousands of angry people stomped and plotted and harangued the world during the Occupy Wall Street encampment. Across the street to the east, the warm lights of the Brown Br...
Gifts For People Who Are Sick Of Stupid Party Games
Playing board games at holiday gatherings, parties, or anywhere else should be fun. It usually isn’t, because the most popular party games are awful....
How To Talk To Your Shithead Liberal Nephew Over The Holidays<em></em>
Congratulations! You won the election. Not you, specifically—unless you’re reading this, Mr. Trump, which, now that your name is in it, you probably are—but your people: Real American Men, where “real” means over 45 and white, “American” means suburban- or rural-residing, and “men” means what it use...
U.S. Soccer Fires USMNT Head Coach Jurgen Klinsmann
U.S. Soccer has fired United States Men’s National Team head coach Jurgen Klinsmann after a disappointing start to the final round of 2018 World Cup qualifying, the federation announced this afternoon. Klinsmann was also removed from his role as technical director. ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Gave A Truly Moving Speech After Winning Euro 2016
Literally nothing bad to say about this. Cristiano Ronaldo did a legitimately cool thing. I’m as shocked as you....
Gifts For A Life With Diminished Horizons
The line between holiday gifts and New Year’s resolutions is less clear than it might seem. Unless you and your gift recipients have fallen into the terrible trap of typecasting—Here’s one more item for you with a golf joke on it, Jolly Person Who Plays Golf!—presents are aspirational: Here’s someth...
“You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty JUDE Bitch!”: Trump Voters Send Their Best
Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it....
Gifts For Drew Magary Readers
So you know a Drew Magary enthusiast, or someone who should be a Drew Magary enthusiast, and you’re wondering what sort of holiday present to get them? As someone who argues with Magary daily about everything, listen to me on this—I know what I’m talking about. Get them some Magary books!...