2 Page 256 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Remember Some Winter Olympians
The opening ceremony isn’t until Friday, but actual Olympic sports kick off tonight. With curling. Mixed doubles, the U.S. vs. Russia. Remember John Shuster? Now you remember John Shuster. Let’s remember some other Winter Olympians:...
The Scale Of The Olympics Is Staggering
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — The Olympics haven’t even started yet and already I’m sure that I underestimated their sheer scale. That should have been impossible, because there’s nothing about the size and scope of this that ever gets downplayed. When you’re watching at home, the effect is to be, perh...
We Ate Lutefisk And Didn’t Die<em></em>
So this is lutefisk, and it sucks. It’s fish that been preserved in lye and broken down into a strange jellylike texture, which is exactly as appeitizing as it sounds. We bought it because we were in Minnesota and it seemed like a very Minnesota thing to do even though virtually NO Minnesotans eat t...
Someone Please Stop Ernie Grunfeld From Considering This Very Stupid Trade
I can think of no harsher or more depressing condemnation of the, god, coming up on 15 years Ernie Grunfeld, a cartilage-brained nincompoop who never saw a ruinous short-sighted midseason trade he didn’t like, has spent as the head personnel honcho of the Washington Wizards than that the following s...
Oh, Shit: 1,200 Olympics Security Guards Sidelined Due To Norovirus Outbreak
1,200 security staffers have been sent home due to a norovirus outbreak just days before the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics are scheduled to kick off....
Report: Foxboro Police Called To Rob Gronkowski's House For Reported Burglary
Police were called to Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski’s house this evening for a reported burglary, according to Boston 25 News....
Lily Foles Shows What True Poise Looks Like In The National Football League
Let’s talk about what’s needed to be a truly outstanding representative of the National Football League on the big stage. Let’s talk about poise. Let’s talk about composure. Let’s talk about grace under pressure. Grit! Balance! A cool head! You know who embodied all of that last night? More than any...
Doug Pederson Dethroned The Patriots By Taking Every Risk
The Eagles outpunched the Patriots in Super Bowl 52, with Nick Foles somehow keeping pace with Tom Brady even with Brady performing at the top of his game. The Eagles fused their play-calling, play design, and use of personnel packages into an attack so modern, so devastating it humbled Bill Belichi...
Allegedly Enormous-Donged Eagles QB Leads Team To Super Bowl Victory
The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions after defeating the New England Patriots 41-33 Sunday, and they couldn’t have done it without the stellar performance from backup quarterback Nick Foles and his reportedly gigantic hog....
Nick Foles's Trick-Play Touchdown Catch, As Called By A Dozen Announcers Worldwide
The bulk of Deadspin’s staff declared the Eagles’ fourth-down, trick-play pass to quarterback Nick Foles their favorite moment of last night’s Super Bowl. Here, then, is how a dozen broadcasters called the play—ranging from Kevin Harlan on Westwood One radio to Gerard Whateley on Australian radio to...
That Super Bowl Was Everything Anyone Could Have Asked For
Last night, the Philadelphia Eagles scored a fourth-down touchdown with one of the most inventive plays in modern Super Bowl history, averaged over six yards per rush, and punted just once. Yet they were somehow, statistically speaking, the Super Bowl’s second-best offense. Tom Brady’s 505 passing y...
Upon Further Review, The NFL Dodged A Bullet
Thank god for Brandon Graham. It was his effectively game-sealing strip-sack of Tom Brady—an actual, incontrovertible football play, a display of the kind of strength and athleticism and determination that bring us to the sport in the first place, a moment for which there was no reason to doubt your...
Performance Isn't Tied To Morality, EXCEPT FOR THE WORLD CHAMPION PHILADELPHIA EAGLES<em></em>
Be a happy and honest sports fan with this one simple trick: understand that moral values have nothing to do with on-field performance. That’s a foundational principle of this website, as far as I can tell, but abiding by it will stop you from making mistakes that have nothing to do with sports. It ...
HEY, PATRIOTS! FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!<em></em>
There is never a guarantee you’ll get a Patriots Schadenfreude Day. There are years when they win a Super Bowl and you just gotta sit there with gritted teeth while Brian O’Brian from Dickchester hoots and hollers and flashes imaginary rings and celebrates yet another Pats Super Bowl win by blinding...
Kobe Bryant And Dion Waiters Had Great Reactions To The Eagles Winning The Super Bowl
What makes these videos of native Philadelphians Kobe Bryant and Dion Waiters going nuts the moment the Eagles officially defeated the Patriots to win their first Super Bowl is how relatable they are. Trust me....
Where The Hell Was Malcolm Butler?
Malcolm Butler, the hero of Super Bowl 49 and starting cornerback for the Patriots all season, wasn’t on the field for any defensive snaps as New England lost 41-33 to the Eagles in Super Bowl 52. If you have an answer for why: Please get in touch, Bill Belichick....
The Tom Brady Strip Sack, As Called By Announcers From Philadelphia, Boston, & 11 Other Places Worldwide
Brandon Graham’s strip sack of Tom Brady and Derek Barnett’s recovery of the ball proved to be a deciding play of this year’s Super Bowl. We’ve compiled 13 different broadcasts of the play, including the local announcers as well as TV and radio from five different continents. (Our favorite is Austra...
Jason Kelce TV Interview Straight Out Of Mid-'80s WWF
Listen to this man, Philadelphia. He is speaking for you, and to you:...
Kevin Hart Attempts To Scale Trophy Podium, Denied By Much Larger Man
What was Kevin Hart doing there, anyway!?...