2 Page 431 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympics Field Guide: Hiroshi Hoketsu, The 71-Year-Old Olympian
Name: Hiroshi Hoketsu...
Balotelli Wasn't The Only Super Mario In Attendance At Yesterday's Euro 2012 Match
It is not a stretch to suggest these gentlemen are actual plumbers, or if they have been in possession of mushrooms at one time or another. We're eagerly anticipating their appearance at Sunday's final; the Italians will need a fire flower or two to get past a tough Spanish defense. (Or one of thos...
Mario Balotelli Singlehandedly Knocked Germany Out Of Euro 2012
Italy's Mario Balotelli scored two first-half goals that proved to be deciding in Italy's 2-1 dispatching of Germany in today's Euro 2012 semifinal in Warsaw....
What Happened To John Van Benschoten? The Former Pirates Pitching Prospect Laments The Hitting Career He Never Had
John Van Benschoten, the Pirates' first-round pick (eighth overall) in 2001, didn't have a good big-league career. In 90 innings of work spread over three seasons, Van Benschoten, mostly as a starter, racked up 65 strikeouts against 68 walks and a 9.20 ERA. We ranked him 76th on our list of the 100...
German Newspaper Has Brilliantly Lowbrow Front Page Ahead Of Italy Match
This is the front page of today's Hamburger Morgenpost, ahead of this afternoon's Euro 2012 semifinal between Germany and Italy. It's a thing of beauty, or maybe stupidity. Yes, those are anguished Italian players in the pepperoni slices. Germany is weird....
Fortunately, ESPN Doesn't Speak Spanish
Here's a sign sported by some enthusiastic Spaniards before yesterday's Euro 2012 semifinal between Spain and Portugal and aired on ESPN before the match. It reads, basically, "Cristiano go fuck yourself, Froilán the Golden Boot."...
This At-Bat Captures The Sublime Ridiculousness Of Men's Slow-Pitch Softball
Literally dozens of people came out to ASA Hall of Fame Stadium tonight in Oklahoma City to see the USA Futures defeat the USA National Team in a 38-37 win, decided on a tag out at the plate on the final play. However, the first two outs of the inning came when two players hit home runs, actual fa...
The Official Song Of The London Olympics Is A Musical Abomination
There are so many better ways you could spend five minutes and 20 seconds of your life. You could drink half a beer, you could go put a load of laundry in the washer, you could jab a fork into your ears repeatedly and without mercy. These are all better uses of your time than listening to Muse's "...
Even Italy's A Little Racist Toward Mario Balotelli
This cartoon ran in Sunday's Gazzetta dello Sport, Italy's top-selling sports newspaper. It's Balotelli, fresh off the Azzurri triumph over England, climbing Big Ben. (Fun fact: It's officially "Elizabeth Tower" now.) Yes, Balotelli is playing the part of a giant gorilla, and yes, 90 percent of Euro...
Olympics Field Guide: Ryan Lochte, The Bro Who Beat Michael Phelps
Name: Ryan Lochte...
Dan O'Brien Has An Olympic Gold Medal, But He Couldn't Talk To Michelle Beadle Without Falling Off His Chair
A 1996 Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon, Dan O'Brien proved he can run, jump, throw, and vault as well as anyone in the world. Sitting is apparently a skill set he's yet to master....
Olympics Field Guide: Race Imboden, The New Face Of American Fencing
Name: Race Imboden...
Surprise, England: The Racist Was You All Along!
Boy, we all got psyched for some old-fashioned Eastern European racism, didn't we? "Stadiums of Hate," and Sol Campbell warning about twin black-hating boogeymen Andrzej and Andriy, and even England players leaving their families at home. Well, perhaps there's a lesson here, because not only did Eng...
Here's How British TV Broadcasters Reacted Live To News Italy Bounced England From Euro 2012
Just in time for the national sports focus's shift to Wimbeldon, England's national team flunked out of Euro 2012. A 4-2 loss on penalties to Italy in last night's quarterfinal match in Kiev was, naturally, the top story of the day, so we decided to drop in various national British networks to see...
A Sad English Penis Could Not Stop Italy From Advancing
Pirlo's Panenka-esque chip turned the tide. The Ashleys' gaffes set the table. But it was Alessandro Diamanti, going left and going low, that sent Italy through to the semis over the broken hearts of the overachieving Three Lions....
Saudi Arabia Allows A Token Female Olympian, So Get Off Their Backs Already
After 40 years of sending teams to the Olympics, Saudi Arabia has finally agreed that women should be allowed to participate. That manifests itself as one single athlete, born in America and raised in Europe, who will represent the Kingdom in equestrian events and thus be covered head to toe. And th...
Woman Plans On Running 52 Marathons In 52 Weeks
A Santa Monica woman, Julie Weiss, just finished her 10th marathon in as many weeks. According to her mission statement, she's got 42 more to go. Last week in Minnesota, she finished the 26.2 mile race in Duluth in four hours and forty minutes....
Chinese Man Died Of Exhaustion Trying To Watch All Of Euro 2012
A Chinese man has reportedly died after staying up for 11 straight nights (because of the time difference) to watch every match of Euro 2012....
![Amateur Hour At The U.S. Track And Field Olympic Trials [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17qrxfsh44rn9jpg.jpg)
Amateur Hour At The U.S. Track And Field Olympic Trials [UPDATE]
Allyson Felix and Jeneba Tarmoh are Olympic track and field hopefuls in the women's 100m event. Last night, Tarmoh was initially ruled to have finished ahead of Felix and thus Tarmoh came in third and Felix fourth. It's an important distinction because only three athletes are permitted to represe...
Kids Coach Little League Team To Championship
We live in a cynical world that sucks a lot most of the time. Then you read a story like this and it's like getting a shot of adrenaline. A little league team out in California, opting for the name San Clemente American No. 2 rather than the usual "San Clemente Royals" or something, just won its To...