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This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades now, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to head off the end of times, but declines to quietly cede to SI the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Brady Hoke Ate My Sign: The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew (Plus Michigan State Fans Calling Lee Corso An Asshole)
Fat jokes are fat jokes are fat jokes, but that is a very well-executed fat joke. Sad that Brady Hoke messed it up by eating part of the sign....
![Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180mahsexbhuvjpg.jpg)
Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]
Well, he only got one reply that actually included a phone number, and we're too scared to call it, so he probably was too. On Wednesday, the Sun Belt announced a one-game suspension for Arkansas State linebacker Qushaun Lee for an illegal hit against Alcorn State during their Saturday game. The le...


Desmond Howard Talked About "Beaver Juice" This Morning On <em>College GameDay</em>
Please do not discuss beaver juice. Anywhere. Desmond Howard elected to do exactly that this morning, and here's what happens. (Also, remix!)...

Your College Football Open Thread
Our game of the morning is probably Baylor at West Virginia, though our shame expert (aren't we all, in some sense, shame experts?) told us to be on the lookout for a potential "DOUBLE trap game" in the N.C. State vs. U. of Miami game. Also look out for Penn State at Illinois, because Illinois may h...

Warren Sapp Called Brandon Marshall A "Retard," So Marshall Filmed Two Video Responses, Sideways, While Driving
On his radio show last week, Dan Patrick baited Warren Sapp into saying some dumb stuff about "kids these days"—how about Cam Newton celebrating a touchdown when his team is losing?! What a glory boy!—and Sapp took the bait, hook, line and sinker: not only did he incomprehensibly declare, "These kid...

How To Make Chili: A Guide For People Who Aren't Anti-Bean Zealots Or Elitist Scum
It's weird that we fight about chili. ...

Your Week Five College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

Gordon Gee, Ohio State's "Best Recruiter" Of Uncompensated Student-Athletes, Expensed $64,000 Over Five Years On Bow Ties
On August 1, The Toledo Blade published a story about Gordon Gee, Ohio State's president, and likely the most prominent university president in the country right now. The article says that Gee's enthusiasm for the Buckeyes extends to hands-on football recruiting:...

Ostensible Adult Kevin Garnett Deleted Ray Allen's Phone Number When He Left For The Heat
We already knew Kevin Garnett was passionate—which is to say, basically crazy—and it undoubtedly hurts to see your teammate essentially give up on your team, publicly and in favor of a rival. What happened to Ubuntu? What happened to...(*sniff*)...us?...

Homer Bailey Throws First Reds No-Hitter Since 1988
Homer Bailey threw this season's seventh no-hitter in shutting down the Pittsburgh Pirates tonight 1-0 in what was the first no-no ever thrown at PNC Park....

Deadspin Up All Night: Say Hello To Never
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Your usual crew of Tim, Sam, Isaac, and Sean will be on duty to keep you informed and entertained this weekend. Do drop by. And have a good one....

Purdue Intramural Quarterback Throws 30-Yard Touchdown Pass ... Behind His Back
If you're going to attempt a pass like that, there's no better time to try than when you're quarterbacking a flag football game in college, when you can always count on the defense to just sort of stand around and watch. That said, I'll bet Curtis Painter couldn't make that throw....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Not OK
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

The NHL Lockout Negotiations Are Going As Slowly As Possible
You want hockey? You want it back bad? Of course you do. Who doesn't?...

Box-Office Grosses Aren't Sports Scores. Who Cares If <em>Looper</em> Flops This Weekend?
Last year, around this time, I started seeing a ton of ads on Fox NFL games for the movie Drive. I'd seen the movie early and thought it was terrific, but I couldn't help but notice how ill-fitting the promotions for the movie were juxtaposed against Pitbull's Dr. Pepper ads and Terry Bradshaw doing...

Dead Letters: "NO ONE CARES About Your Gay Mouth Munching Of Cookies"
Subject: YOUR NEWS IS SO FAR LEFT LEANING I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF READ IT. BETTER STOP WITH THE KOOLAID...

Jason Babin Is Rational About Rivalries: "I Don’t Use The Word 'Hate' Unless We’re Talking About Terrorists"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's just football, people!...
