a Page 7349 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Have Spent All Night Searching For Unintentional Dong Shapes In Hurricane Irene Images, You Bastards
It's August 25, the day after we were told that yesterday's shorter WUD post format was unacceptable. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors...

Report: Mike Flanagan Killed Himself Over 'Prolonged Failure' Of The Baltimore Orioles (Updated)
WBAL reports that former Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan, television announcer and top executive, was found dead on his Baltimore County property Wednesday afternoon and that sources confirmed that Flanagan took his own life 'despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he ...

Today In Horrible Quotes
"My father [William] was the first black that played basketball in the Big 10. They took that jersey and his Globetrotter jersey. They also took my son's city championship ring and oxygen tank." — DePaul assistant basketball coach Billy Garrett, upon finding his Chicago home had been cleaned out by...

Gilbert Arenas's Ex Can Appear On "Basketball Wives" In Part Because Obama And Dick Cheney Are Related
Gilbert Arenas did not want his former fiancé Laura Govan to appear on VH1's "Basketball Wives" or mention his name on it. So, he sued....

Here's Video Of Villanova's Basketball Coach Prancing About To A Katy Perry Song
Oh hey, that's Villanova University's head basketball coach Jay Wright letting his colors burst in a flash-mob dance routine set to Katy Perry's "Firework," isn't it?...

Rival Soccer Players Know To Expect That Newcastle United's Joey Barton "Will Come In Your Face"
If your tongue absolutely, positively must slip during a sports interview, why not sound as if you're talking sexually when, in fact, you're talking about a rival's tenacity on the English Premier League pitch? This is what happened to Fulham's Philippe Senderos when asked about Newcastle United's...

If You Have To Get Arrested, Driving While Drinking A Beer And Receiving Oral Sex Isn't A Bad Way To Go
Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we can all meet George Howard, a Kentucky man arrested this morning for some shenanigans involving a 2006 Ford on the outskirts of Louisville. Johnny Law intervened after seeing Howard's ride allegedly collide with a curb....

Big Fan Chad McGhee Wants You Join Him To Watch The Knox City Greyhounds Reach For Football Immortality
Much has changed for Chad McGhee since he was hereby nominated for consideration as the biggest high-school football fan in the history of the game. ...

Confused Old Man On A Rascal Tries To Run Over Referee
A lively old man on a Rascal (also known as a wheelchair, mobility scooter, or Jazzy, depending on your local parlance) nearly took out a referee in a game between FC Oss and Almere City in the Netherlands on Friday night. Edwin van der Graaf reportedly handed out six yellow cards to Oss, the home...

This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Cam Newton Doesn't Have Any Tattoos Or Piercings, And Jerry Richardson "Wants To Keep It That Way"
Back in April, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson told the Charlotte Observer that he's never wanted a "roster of 53 choirboys" on his football team, which is a very nice and almost renegade sentiment for a 75-year-old millionaire to share. But he also doesn't want a quarterback with tattoos, piercin...

Mexico Rides Strong Pitching To The Top Of Our Unnecessarily Abstruse Little League World Series Power Rankings
Welcome to the second installment of DRURY, our exclusive Little League World Series power ranking and prediction engine. Yesterday's edition was postponed due to the earthquake and lack of interest. The ranking is a composite of the teams' box score statistics and schedule strength—see the original...

The 27 Hottest Employees Of The Venture Capital Firm That's Investing $22 Million In Bleacher Report: A Slideshow
As you know, Oak Investment Partners is lavishing a large sum of money on Bleacher Report. But what is Oak Investment Partners? Who are these people? Why, they're only some of the hottest hotties venturing capital today. Let's have a look....

Bay Area Radio Hosts Have Insane Solutions To Fan Violence
KNBR's Damon Bruce supports profiling for allowing fans into games. [UPDATE: Damon was very insistent that he never mentioned or intended a racial aspect to the profiling, and we'll take him at his word. So, keeping out races, no, keeping out thugs who just come to games to start trouble, yes.]...

Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: It's A Fine Line Between Failure And Non-Failure
What did Bartolo Colon teach us about our place in the universe last night? Special philosophical correspondent David Roher was at the ballpark to witness the veteran Yankee's performance against Oakland, as Colon fell behind the A's 5-0—with two of the runs scoring after he'd left the game, on a do...

Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...

Jerry Jones Denies Storming The Locker Room After One Half Of A Preseason Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Cowboys owner says he didn't get furious until after the entire Chargers game....

Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...

Sportswriting's Gonna Be OK, Everybody: Bleacher Report Just Secured $22 Million In Venture Capital
Per Darren Rovell, the funding came from Oak Investment Partners. At Bleacher Report, money DOES grow on trees!...