a Page 7365 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...

Let's Watch Two Chimps Kissing And Biting One Another
This video was taken at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. Zoological voyeurism is the new black....

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

Plaxico Burress Talks About What Happens When You Shoot Yourself
Here's one choice selection from an HBO "Real Sports" segment on Jets WR Plaxico Burress, who shot himself with an unlicensed handgun in a Manhattan night club on Nov. 28, 2008:...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Another week, another onslaught of people seeing phallus in unlikely places, capturing it on film and sending it in. Like that fountain that Luke S. saw in Siena, Italy, a few days back....

Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...

Once-Comatose Former Swimsuit Model Becomes First Woman To Ever Enter Australian Rodeo Event
Tammara Wrenn became the first female to ever enter "the southern hemisphere's biggest rodeo, at Mt Isa in Queensland" this weekend. This is noteworthy for two reasons....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kyle Grooms
Who? Kyle Grooms is originally from New Jersey but started his stand-up career on South Florida's urban comedy scene. Style is quick and clever, punchlines come after the beat, a little like Dave Attell but structured around stories like Birbiglia....

Kendrick Perkins Charged With Being Drunk-And-Disorderly In Texas
It's been a rough day and a half for Kendrick Perkins. First, on a Thursday night when the locked-out Oklahoma City Thunder big man was slated to host former Celtics teammate Rajon Rondo "at an autograph signing at the Mid County Chick-Fil-A restaurant ... to help raise money for the Port Arthur Li...

Youth-Baseball Umpire In Missouri Claims Pitcher, Catcher Conspired To Hit Him With A Pitch
In the fifth-inning of a big 18-and-under Mac-N-Seitz Midwest Championships and Showcase baseball game, home plate umpire Kyle Reynolds detected shenanigans were afoot. They were the sort of shenanigans in which a catcher allegedly jumps out of the way of a pitch so it strikes the umpire behind hi...

Broncos Kicker Charged Criminally With DUI, Morally With Ditching A Strip-Club Worker In A Hotel Lobby
Word out of Denver this morning indicated that Broncos kicker Matt Prater was charged with drunkenly backing his Chevy TrailBlazer into a silver sedan parked outside of a Hyatt Suites in Greenwood Village last week. Witnesses reported the driver then went into the hotel, which is where things get s...

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...

This Evening: Louis C.K. Gets In Touch With Himself
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 12, the day we wished death on the Internet craze. Photo via Creeping Jesus. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....

Dying Up Here: Tributes To Three Departed Funnymen
For Comedy Week, we ran three tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series: Phil Berger wrote on Andy Kaufman, The Masked Man on Mitch Hedberg, and True Blood producer Alexander Woo on Vaughn Meader....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...