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Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...

This Evening: Louis C.K. Gets In Touch With Himself
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 12, the day we wished death on the Internet craze. Photo via Creeping Jesus. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....

Dying Up Here: Tributes To Three Departed Funnymen
For Comedy Week, we ran three tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series: Phil Berger wrote on Andy Kaufman, The Masked Man on Mitch Hedberg, and True Blood producer Alexander Woo on Vaughn Meader....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...

WVU Finds Their Long-Sought Quarterback: Some Guy
We've chronicled Dana Holgorsen's long fruitless search for a warm body to stick on the depth chart, culminating in an emailed plea to the entire student body. Well, the Mountaineers have finally found their man:...

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Andy Kaufman, The Unlikely Bombthrower
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, from the best book ever written about stand-up comedy, Phil Berger's The Last Laugh, we look at the evolution of Andy Kaufman, meshuga provocateur....

Photoshop Contest: That Tiger Woods Photobomb Guy
We can all see That Guy from that Tiger Woods shot today becoming a meme, so we figured we ought to get in on the act as quickly as possible — and with your help. Go right ahead and fire away in the comments with your best Photoshop mash-ups of this screen grab. Best one wins a prize. Now get to it...

SWAT Team Called To Home Of Former Patriots And Notre Dame Defensive Coach
"A SWAT team has responded to the Northbrook Shores subdivision in Granger after shots were reportedly fired inside at a home in the 10000 block of Glynwater Ct. This was originally called in as a domestic dispute just before 1 p.m. A neighbor told WSBT the home is owned by Corwin Brown, a former N...

Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....

Louis C.K. Versus Dane Cook, By The Numbers
E.B. White once likened analyzing humor to dissecting a frog, in that the frog dies and that most observers are grossed out by the process. But who will object if we dissect Dane Cook? Here's a statistical look at how two very different comedians elicit reactions from their audience....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Mitch Hedberg, The Comic's Comic
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, the Masked Man looks at the legacy of Mitch Hedberg, the surrealist who developed a cult following before his death in 2005—and an even bigger one after his death....

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...

Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Tim Tebow Engineered The Strangest Play Of The Young NFL Season
Tebow's under a microscope, no doubt, so his plays are going to be scrutinized more than just about anyone else's. But last night's double-reverse-scramble-pass was so balletically chaotic, we'd have to break this down no matter who ran it. It just so happened to be Tebow who managed to be brillia...