a Page 7386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hideki Irabu, Dead At 42
Irabu was found dead at his home in Los Angeles, and police are investigating it as a suicide. He last pitched in MLB for the Rangers in 2002, and most recently with an independent league team in 2009. [Asahi Shumbun]...

Serie A Owner Storms Out Of Scheduling Meeting In Most Dramatic, Italian Way Ever
Aurelio De Laurentiis, the owner and savior of the soccer club S.S.C. Napoli, is also a successful Italian film producer in his native country. So we can forgive him for his penchant for the theatrical. But mio dio, his reaction to next season's Serie A fixtures was one for the ages. ...

The Million-Dollar Monaco Fender-Bender
Mercedes, Ferrari, Porsche, Bentley, Aston Martin — five great tastes that don't go together when you smash them all together like a little kid playing with toy cars. Of course this went down in Monte Carlo, which combines all the pretentiousness of Vegas with all the pretentiousness of France....

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....

Cristiano Ronaldo Could End Up Being Seized By The European Central Bank
The financial situation in Europe is so screwed up that soccer players are being used as collateral. Bankia, a troubled seven-month-old Spanish banking group, is trying to shore up capital by going public and getting a big loan from the European Central Bank, the EU's equivalent of the Federal Reser...

The One Where Some Snoopy Neighbor Tries To Sell Us Stories About John Edwards
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Tiger Woods's Backyard Practice Facility Is Nicer Than Most Golf Courses
We should not lose any sleep over Tiger's latest setbacks. He could be done for the 2011 season, and he's going through the second difficult break-up of his young life, but he is still terribly wealthy and preparing to move into a Jupiter Island, Fla. estate that is reportedly worth $54.5 million....

Toni Kukoc, Accused Of Visiting Prostitutes, Shrugs
From the Croatian Times:...

OK, This Might Be One Of The Least Likely Sports Fetishes Of All Time
Turned on yet? This is just one of a huge collection of videos of women's soccer players spitting. That's all. Not playing. Not celebrating. Just spitting. The fact that they're clearly filmed directly off the TV screen makes it even creepier....

Unconscionable Neymar Goal Highlights A Very Brazilian Night Of Soccer
We grab your attention with this, Neymar's first of two scores on the night, a one-of-a-kind run through the Flamengo defense. But we really wanted to highlight the entirety of one of the more thrilling games in recent memory. (If you've got 90 minutes to kill, the whole match is on YouTube)....

Hurry! Andy Reid Is Trying To Get Away!
Your morning roundup for July 28, the day we kept getting hit with popcorn while trying to talk. Photo via @Jeff_McLane. H/T to Michael for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting A School-Kid Reenactment Of The Saddest Scene In Movie History
As you may have already heard, that scene in "The Champ" when T.J. (young Ricky Schroder) weeps over his father (Jon Voight) Billy's body after a boxing match turned fatal is the scientifically proven saddest movie scene ever....

Yet Another Green Man Eludes Capture At A Minor League Baseball Game
For the record, the Battle Creek Bombers defeated the Madison Mallards 4-1 in some Northwoods League minor-league baseball action on Wednesday night....

Here's Video Of Two Women In Really Short Shorts Fighting In The Woods (NSFW)
It's not the violence of this video that's offensive, not even when a third fair maiden jumps in and takes her foot to someone's face a couple of times. It's the unladylike profanity that speaks to societal degradation....

Watch A Linesman Fall During The MLS All-Star Game
Linesman tries to get out of the way of a soccer ball. Linesman flies to the ground in dramatic fashion. Could've been worse. Linesman could've been an All-Star team that lost 4-0 to a foreign squad playing a preseason game....

The Sucker Karate-Kicking Goalkeeper Could Soon Be Charged With Attempted Murder
Remember that whole U-20 soccer tournament brawl in Brazil that came to an abrupt halt when evil Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind? Well, you can likely tack an attempted-murder charge onto the lifetime ban that Gustavo's facin...

In The War Between An Angry Ginger And Aspiring Ultimate Fighter, The Ginger Won With A Kill-Shot
The St. Petersburg Times's "Man accused of beating to death aspiring 'ultimate fighter' at Zephyrhills party" headline comes nowhere near telling the whole story of Samuel Smith's death (allegedly) at the ruddy hands of Richard Starks Jr....

This Is What It's Like To Sit Near Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower In The Bronx
When Jake Bertanza went to last night's Yankees game, he might have expected that CC Sabathia would pitch a lovely game, but he certainly could not have known he'd end up sitting a few seats away from Michael "Big Yankees Fan" LaPayower and his videographer brother....

Your MLS All-Star Game Open Thread
The fan-favorite best roster that Major League Soccer has to offer will try to avenge last year's 5-2 All-Star ass-whooping at the hands of a Chicharito-less, EPL-champion Manchester United side tonight. Good luck with that....

Rest In Peace, Guy Who Enthusiastically Sold Peanuts At Mariners Games
Rick Kaminski, a 67-year-old man who provided a memorable part of the baseball experience to crowds at the Kingdome and Safeco Field in Seattle, died of complications from a brain aneurysm yesterday. He was known as "Rick the Peanut Guy," and he'll be missed....