a Page 7505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dumbest Fish Alive Deserve To Be Dead
This is four-and-a-half minutes of silver carp leaping, unprovoked, into a boat. It serves as a fascinating video treatise on natural selection, and possible sport fishing....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan "Daniel" Snyder's dumbass libel suit goes to that great tort docket in the sky....

Sideline Reporter Looks Accustomed To Getting Pummeled In The Head With Soccer Balls
We're just as impressed with the aim of the player on the field as we are with this fellow's easy return to reporting....

The NFL Lockout Is Over, At Least For A Few More Minutes
A federal judge has granted the players an injunction against the league, effectively ending the lockout. As soon as the decision is made public, the owners plan to request a stay of the injunction, effectively re-starting the lockout. [ESPN]...

Luke Scott Is Still A Gun-Humping Birther Survivalist Lunatic, Chickenshit ESPN Story Won't Say
Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she...

Today In Great Ledes
"Perhaps fittingly, you can't spell insurmountable without mountain." [Denver Post]...

DeAngelo Hall Says Jason Kidd's Son Still Has An Enormous Head
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the outspoken Hall talks football and other more important matters....

Chris Paul's Shake-Up Of Andrew Bynum Is Pretty Close To A Point Guard's Masterpiece
In a big-to-little defensive switch in basketball, the advantage usually goes to the taller forward who can easily back down a misplaced guard for an easy basket in the paint. It's a simple, dependable play off of a switched screen or miscommunication on the defenders' side....

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

Lakers Player Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting Pregnant IHOP Waitress (Pregnancy Update)
But don't worry, it's not a Laker that you've heard of, or matters....

Iowa Gives Coaching Award To Man Whose Workout Sent 13 Players To The Hospital
Back in January, 13 Iowa football players were hospitalized for treatment of "exertional rhabdomyolysis," or an "acute breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream." Basically, the Hawkeyes were pushed too hard in their workout routine...

Jim Tressel Is The Perfect Coach
I used to think Jim Tressel was scum. Covering up his players' transgressions, hiding them from his school and NCAA. But I've been reading over the allegations, just doing some sittin', and some thinkin', and I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. Jim Tressel is the ideal coach for a big-time program ...

The Knicks Come Home
Your morning roundup for April 25, the day that we were just five days away from ceasing to hear about wedding plans for people none of us know....

Here's Video Of A Bunch Of Yale Kids Humiliating The Rational Branches Of Their Family Trees
Writes a tipster who probably should remain nameless for the sake of the rich-pal portion of his Rolodex, "My stupid ass friend at Yale decided to be a part of this video. They all seem to be pretty proud, so maybe ya'll can let 'em be heard on Deadspin."...

Here's An Unintentionally Splendid Moment In Soccer-Match Photography
ESPN opted to feature a middle-finger wielding drummer on its Soccernet homepage this afternoon. It accompanied a tease to a story about Arsenal and its fans realizing their dream of an English Premier League title this season died off the 90th minute head of Bolton's Tamir Cohen....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit makes like an ant under a very patient child's magnifying glass on a 110-degree day with a cloudless sky....

Here's Your Tony LaRussa Eye Update
The St. Louis Cardinals bullpen gave up three runs in the eighth — accompanied by a David Freese error — in yesterday's 5-3 loss to Cincinnati. Whatever. Let's see what LaRussa's eye looked like....

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Charlie Sheen Infiltrated The Florida Marlins
Someday, athletes are going to stop posing with Charlie Sheen, or at least stop hash-tagging their Sheen shots with references to #tigerblood. Today is not that day. So, thanks for that Logan Morrison....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
The Sabres, Predators and Canucks all have a chance to win their series 4-2 today. Buffalo hosts the Flyers at 3 p.m.; Nashville hosts Anaheim at 6 p.m. and Vancouver visits the Chicago Blackhawks at 7:30 p.m. All times eastern....

RichRod Doesn't Think Jumping From West Virginia To Michigan Was That Good Of An Idea, After All
CBS Sports sat down with unemployed winner Rich Rodriguez on Friday. They asked whether he had "any regrets in hindsight jumping from West Virginia to Michigan"? Then, they allowed RichRod to retort:...