a Page 7524 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wayne Rooney Curses And The World Heaves
Shrek got angry after scoring a hat trick against West Ham last Saturday and spat a few acrid words into the camera. Now Shrek will lose 250,000 squid and miss an FA Cup semifinal because some asinine arbiters of morality in sports have decided there's no cursing on the pitch....
Ryan Braun Did Not Actually Suggest Prince Fielder Is A Threat To Your Bag Of Potato Chips
Our friends at Talking Chop spotted something strange during the Brewers-Braves broadcast Thursday afternoon....
Derrick Rose Floats One Off The Glass, And The Bulls Take The East
Last night, the Chicago Bulls defeated the Celtics by 16 points, 97-81. In doing so, they effectively clinched the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the first time since the 1997-98 season — Chicago would have to lose the remainder of its games and the HeatCeltics would have to win the rest o...
Cockblocked By Weed Addiction!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Old Footage Of Gloria James Attacking A Kid On Basketball Court Is Now For Sale
This was a tip sent to Gawker last night from a scuzz-money marketplace entrepreneur who hopes to capitalize on Gloria James's recent valet beatdown. He claims to have footage of Gloria from Lebron's high school days where she goes after a young fella on the court....
Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....
David Stern Memorialized As A Chainsaw-Wielding Honey Badger In These NBA Lockout Attack Ads
Begun, the Stern-Hunter labor wars have. Since we won't have any professional basketball next season, we might as well have funny videos lampooning a commissioner whose public behavior increasingly resembles that of a Bergin Hunt and Fish Club member. These come our way from J.E. Skeets at The Bas...
I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...
New Sport's Inspiration Seems To Be Every Sport Ever At Once
About a year ago, some people in Philadelphia convened to create a new sport that is part football, part rugby, part soccer, part team handball, part cornhole, part — actually, it's just a sport clusterfuck. They're calling it kronum. Some of the athleticism on display in this promotional video fo...
Bryce Harper Performs The Miracle Of Turning A Bunt Into A Single
The Chosen One made his Sally League debut yesterday in Rome, Ga. He had a couple singles but was denied two times. [WaPo, SweetSpot]...
There Were No Fans Or Cars In Attendance At This Incredible High School Dunk Contest
These are the highlights to the first-ever Ballislife All American Dunk Contest, which by our first appraisal seems more impressive than both the McDonald's contest and the one that featured Kias and choruses a few months ago. A few names here you can expect to see in next year's college rounds: A...
College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....
Deadspin I-Team: Who Is The Minor-League Hockey Forbidden Dancer?
A mere seven days ago, the existence of the Grand Rapids Griffins rail-dancing fan was confirmed. Today, tipster Chad sends footage taken from another angle of the spasmodic bit of body expression which puts everything into a wee bit more perspective. To wit:...
It Sure Looks Like This North Dakota Sioux Hockey Fan Has His Jeaned Ass Square In His Wife's Face
Michigan Wolverine forward Scooter Vaughan just scored an empty-net goal and was a mere 35.8 seconds from the NCAA hockey championship game. He was also just about to end the trending North Dakota Sioux's season. That's when guy here got so absorbed in dropping a double on Vaughan that he felt no c...
Big Yankees Fan Offers A Rebecca Black Inspired Production Just In Time For the Red Sox Series
Michael Lapayower is very excited about tomorrow's Yankees game against their rivals, the 0-6 Boston Red Sox. Granted, LaPayower gets very excited about every Yankees game. He probably does the same on off days, even those in the offseason, just thinking about the Yankees....
In Vanderbilt Golf's Defense, They Were Probably Acting Like Nashville's Collegiate Golfers Do Everyday
Oh look, the Vanderbilt golf team tried to one-up the prancing baseball players with a video blending bromanish posture and the witticism of an Old Spice commercial knock-off. Totally works. (Not a real sport! Get it?!)...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit faces a shutdown of its own....
Nick Swisher Broke Twins Second Baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's Fibula, Patted His Back And Trotted Away
During today's matinee game, Nick Swisher's take-out slide fractured Twins second baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka's left fibula just below the knee. Afterward, Nishioka, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and teammates said they felt Swisher made a clean slide sans intent to injure....
Eagles Lineman Todd Herremans Tweets What Everyone Thinks About Roethlisberger's Religious Beliefs
Herremans, who tweet-farted a few months ago when he complained about True Blood's sneaky "barrage of homosexuality", set himself up for another apology pretty soon with this one....
Police Report Says Gloria James Slapped A Valet In The Face And Then Fell Over
Gloria James has been charged with battery and disorderly intoxication after her early-morning altercation with a nightclub parking valet. We've transcribed the report below; the entire document is available via the Miami Herald. Everything sic'd, and de-capitalized for your sanity:...