a Page 7565 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small Market Shit Talking? Must Be Almost Time For Baseball
Orioles manager Buck Showalter is interviewed in next month's Men's Journal, because he's a Man's Man. The entire thing's not up yet, but a couple of his more provocative comments were published last night. On the division rival Red Sox:...

Rodney Stuckey Is The Latest To Embarrass Chris Bosh
Since Miami beat Detroit last night, 100-94, and since the Heat (49-22) are already in the playoffs while the Pistons (25-46) decidedly are not, all we can really say about this game is that Chris Bosh still found a way to make it embarrassing for the guys in red. Here's Rodney Stuckey, the doll o...

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

One Girl Lost A Weave While Another Parted With A Fake Arm During An H&M Brawl In Philly
While the fight itself is nowhere near the caliber of the I(ride the ride)Hop, Oakland B.K. or Chuck E. Cheese's brawls, there's something to be said for a headless mannequin wearing a "Knot Violence" T-shirt....

Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....

Many Special People Excitedly Posed For Pictures With Jim Tressel Last Week
Sure, Jim Tressel won't be coaching Ohio State University's first couple of football games in the fall, what with breaking the rules and all. That lil mess didn't stop droves of fans from turning out for an Ohio State Alumni luncheon for the chance to stand in front of the same camera as the coach ...

Soccer Match On Field Surrounded By Barbed Wire Unpredictably Marred By "Absurd Violence"
To some, this may look like referee Augusto Vego getting attacked by unhappy Río Segundo players in their lower-tier Argentine match with Sportivo Club....

Bo Belinsky: Our First Original Playboy Athlete
He fucked Ann-Margret, Mamie Van Doren, Tina Louise, Connie Stevens, and he partied with Eddie Fisher, Dean Martin, and Henry Fonda. He would show up at his team's hotel at 5 a.m., "reeking of bitch and booze," a playboy from a time before Namath or Ali or the dawn of faux cool. Pat Jordan, author o...

Yao Ming Resurfaces To Preview A Sad, Sad Video Shoot
Jesus. What is this? There's Yao in a leg brace, perhaps never to emerge. There's a barren set with a dirty floor. A sinister-looking man dressed in black sits beside Yao in a high chair. Is this a shoot for an evil podiatry ad? Yao has yet to explain himself. But Nan from China is thrilled:...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....

What The Furious Ninth Round Of Gatti-Ward 1 Tells Us About Life
If you like boxing or have even a passing interest in what it means to be human, please go read novelist Sergio De La Pava's wonderful essay "A Day's Sail" in the latest Triple Canopy magazine. De La Pava looks at two of the best rounds in boxing history — the one mentioned in the title of this po...

<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $118.01
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Pat Riley Dance Party!
These are so stupid, we know. And they amuse only us. But damned if we can help ourselves from taking a snippet of video of Pat Riley dancing at a Heat rally and put it toward our own selfish editing purposes....

Qataris Develop Artificial Cloud To Keep Pitch Cool During World Cup
Qatar 2022 will undoubtedly see at least 15 times more pissing and moaning than we had to endure during the South African World Cup last year, but if even half the technology proposed for the games comes to light, it'll remain a fantastic spectacle....

The NFL Wants Less Devin Hester In Your Life
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hester hates the league's new kickoff rules....

Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....

If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...

Cats vs. Dogs: A Major Upset!
We're down to the last few days of the first round of play - but exhaustion has yet to set in for these fierce warriors. Today is a day of sentimental favorites, but at the end of the game, a mammal must fall. Grab your toothbrush, because this one's going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. [Jezebe...

Pat Jordan Recalls Bo Belinsky: A Modern-Day Athlete From A Bygone Era
No character in sports was more authentic than Robert "Bo" Belinsky, a left-handed pitcher in the '60s. Bo personified "cool," real cool that was intrinsic to his nature, not his public persona. As a rookie, Bo pitched the first no-hitter in California major league history for the Angels. It made h...