a Page 7598 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Bosh's 1-for-18 Night Included A Flop For The Ages
Here's a better look at Chris Bosh's flop in the Heat's 93-89 loss to Chicago last night. Bosh was 1-for-18 from the floor, and he got hit on the nose, apparently with a sledgehammer....

Pacman Jones Wears A Neck Brace To Court, Has His "Life In Order," Gets A Year Probation
Your morning roundup for Feb. 25, the day you can feel safer because the Army may have used mind-control ops to persuade U.S. Senators to throw more war-bucks and war-flesh their way....

This Was The Day Snow Tits Evolved Into Telestrator Tits
Halfway through the second period of tonight's Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars game, booth talk apparently turned to penalty-box shoulder pads. The end result: Telestrator Breastuses on what appears to be Mike Ribeiro of the Stars. (H/T Ryan C.)...

Exonerated Duke Lax Player Disputes $6.5 Million Tax Bill
The federal taxman says Reade Seligmann, he of the Duke wrongful-rape-accusation scandal, owes the IRS $6,492,377 million in income tax. The income in question came from 2007, which is the same year Seligmann et al reached a settlement with the school to "eliminate the possibility of future litigat...

Everything Right With Soccer, In Three Minutes Of Incredible Non-Dives
Technically, Barcelona and Argentina forward Lionel Messi dove a few times, in a literal sense, as he was hip-checked, tripped up and otherwise impeded by lesser talents. Problem is, Messi missed several opportunities to flail about to pad his stat sheet. He is the Best Soccer Player On Earth....

Kato Kaelin Sold O.J. Out On "The View" Today
For some reason or another, the Barbara Walters damegaggle decided to put O.J. Simpson's old house guest, Kato Kaelin, on television this morning. Seems as if they presumed people wanted to know where he is now. And hot damn, he's rocking. Says his life has been "crazy great" since the Packers won...

Learn To Jog In Place With Phil Simms's 1987 NFL Workout Video
Phil Simms released this workout video in 1987, the year he was named Super Bowl MVP. It has lots of Lycra, big hair, and some help from pros Todd Christensen, Eric Dickerson, Tony Dorsett, Phil McConkey, Reggie Williams, Gary Anderson, and Rulon Jones. If by chance you still own a VHS player, you...

Rex Ryan Has Guaranteed A Super Bowl Win Twice Since The Last Super Bowl, 18 Days Ago
The 2010 NFL season ended a full 18 days ago, and it's already day one of the NFL Combine, and so it's kind of a wonder that Rex Ryan has made mere two public predictions that the New York Jets will win Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis. He actually "guarantees" that it will happen. But really, he "...

Sepp Blatter Never Met A Disaster He Couldn't Exploit
When we named Sepp Blatter one of the 10 worst men in sports earlier this month, we were being kind. Blatter's repugnance extends well beyond sports. He runs FIFA like a Swiss bank, hoovering up billions of dollars and disbursing them in ways that remain as mysterious as they sound dubious. And all ...

What Some Heavyweight Boxing Champions Do In Prison
From our random trivia department: Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight champion of the world, wasn't merely a master of the sweet science. He also knew a thing or two about the physical sciences....

It's Time For The NFL Combine, An Event Made Just For You
Beginning today in Indianapolis, hundreds of the finest young men our football factories have produced will be sprinting their 40s, weaving their cones, benching their presses, doodling their Wonderlics. Hundreds of media members, more reporters than prospects, will also descend on Indianapolis, and...

Kid Wrestler Has Mohawk, Strut, Skills
We've received two videos with "Ooh Aah" as soundtrack this week: one was this highlight compilation of Schuylerville, N.Y. kid wrestler Stevo Poulin, and one was bros in polo shirts shotgunning beers on a golf course. I'll be the first to say it: young Stevo, the first-place finisher in his class...

What ESPN Won't Let Player X Say: Prenups, Popping Asses, And Watching Your Wife Get Pounded
ESPN The Magazine runs a regular feature called Player X, in which a current athlete writes anonymously on a pressing issue affecting his sport. A couple of issues ago, the mystery NBA player tackled the topic of infidelity among pro athletes. What ran in the magazine was polished, snappy...and unen...

Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...

The Rutgers-USF Women's Basketball Game Ended With A Scuffle And Two Middle Fingers Last Night
With under a minute to play and her team up five against USF last night, Rutgers forward Chelsey Lee rebounded a missed shot and was promptly fouled — spiritedly — by Bulls center Porche Grant. The 6'2" senior kept advancing, and eventually got thrown out of the game with a flagrant technical foul...

Pre-Mamba Kobe's High School Highlights, To The Tune Of "One Shining Moment"
Before Kobe Bryant was a five-time NBA champion with a shoe contract and a short film, he was just a regular high school kid who was documented by famous sports photographers on his way to class and who brought R&B stars to the prom. To remind us of that fact, someone from his alma mater, Lower Me...

Baron Davis Traded To Cleveland, Some 2,300 Miles Away From Donald Sterling's Taunts
Clippers guard Baron Davis, who has averaged 12.8 points and 7 assists this season — with some credit due to Blake Griffin's ability to finish close to the basket — is headed to Cleveland, along with a first-round draft pick. The Cavs are sending Mo Williams and Jamario Moon. Davis, who is nursing a...

We Are All Dave McKenna XXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit vanishes like manners at a pig trough. Our installment today comes from the Washington City Paper itself, whose publisher, Amy Austin, ran a letter...

Everything Wrong With Soccer, In One Incredible Dive
Technically, Chilean U20 defender Bryan Carrasco didn't dive, as he was definitely struck by the Ecuadorian player. Problem is, Carrasco literally smacked himself in the face with the other player's arm. He received a free kick....

Tiger Woods, Gone Fishin'
We were recently sent these photos of Tiger Woods in happier times. (These days, "happier times" just means "not golfing.") Just men being men, with no dames in sight, fly fishing with Mark O'Meara....