a Page 7684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eva Longoria's And Tony Parker's Roller Coaster Photo Is What We Call Foreshadowing
In happier times, the new couple took in some wholesome fun in Las Vegas. Only later would they realize they were riding a giant metaphor....
Fred Smoot Didn't Have All That Much Fun On The Vikings Sex Boat
Even a lake full of prostitutes wasn't nasty enough for the double-donger himself. "It was the most overrated party I have ever been to in my life." [DC Sports Bog]...
What Are You Going To Do, Charge Lindsey Vonn With Smoking?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...
Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...
Single, Wiser, More Sexting-Savvy Tiger Woods Writes About Redefining Victory In Newsweek
In Nike's "Earl and Tiger" commercial, Earl Woods' voice told his son he wanted to know "what your thinking was...what your feelings are, and did you learn anything." In Newsweek today, Tiger tried to provide an answer to that essay prompt....
Fighter Wins Jiu-Jitsu Tournament Wearing Greenman Suit
Luke Summerfield obviously didn't think grappling was hard enough. He decided to wear a Greenman—or Redman—suit during a recent tournament in which he blindly grappled his way to first place. Surely an inspiration to spandex-body-suit wearers the world over....
Eva Longoria Divorces Tony Parker Over Affair With Brent Barry's Wife, Reports Guy From <em>Saved By The Bell</em> And Other Journalists
So Longoria split from Tony Parker, and there are rumors of a fling with a teammate's wife. We're confident running with this, because it's being reported by some of the top names in sports media....
A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....
Charles Oakley Swears On His Mother, Probably At Her Too
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oak's not getting along with the Knicks....
Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...
The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...
How To Identify Satanic Sacrifice: A Helpful, Creepy Police Training Video
This old police training video teaches up-and-coming detectives how to look for signs that their murder victim has been sacrificed to Satan. One such clue: often "a penis is placed inside the mouth of the deceased person." Good to know. [Metal Insider]...
Remember, Michael Vick Was On <em>Pros Vs. Joes</em> Just Eight Months Ago
Last March, Mike Vick's option was picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles. Since the Birds still had Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb on the roster, the move was a puzzling one that appeared to be less a real commitment to a backup Wildcat specialist than a nice gesture by an organization seeking a littl...
Adam Dunn Close To Accepting Birthright As DH
Adam Dunn's about to hit a lot of doubles. The Rays might be hoarding Uptons. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand back, because this is one HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....
So, A Drunk Clevelander Laid Out A Small Child For Being A Jets Fan
You can stop emailing us about the 8-year-old who got tackled at the Browns game for wearing a Jets jersey. Our official stance is this: if you don't want your child to get beaten up everywhere they go, don't let them root for the Jets. Simple....
Thunderous Dunk Uses Opponent's Chest As A Springboard
Best we can tell, this is from the third level of the German pro basketball system, and that's University of Dayton grad Marcus Johnson going all Tom Chambers on some poor schmo. All 35 fans were thrilled....
Tiger Woods Is Back! (On Twitter)
Woods posted to his Twitter account for the first time since June of 2009. That's 509 days and one career-shredding scandal later. What does it meaaaan?...
Bay Area Denny's Serves Up Halloween Brawl
As funny as it is to see a "skeleton" get pelted with a chair, this is the third such incident we've seen at a Bay Area chain-dining establishment. It's officially a trend....
Sneakers From Heaven
Writes Marc: "A while back i noticed someone threw some old school Air Jordans up on the telephone/power lines across the street... today...I saw this out my window...word. I wonder if he's going to the outdoor courts at the park now to hoop it up."...